Books!

By the way, if anyone knows of where I can get a library like this, give me a call...I'm just a Belle looking for her Beast.

So, I set a goal to read at least 50 books in 2011.

Here's my progress:

Currently Reading:
Vanity Fair-William Makepeace Thackery
God of Small Things-Arundhati Roy


Completed Reading:
Waiting for Superman: How We Can Save America's Failing Public Schools
Letters to God-Patrick Doughtie and John Perry
Five Point Someone-Chetan Bhagat
The Great Gatsby-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Little Bee-Chris Cleave
The Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins
Paradise Lost-John Milton
Parent Fuel-Barry St. Clair
Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman-Haruki Murakami
The Alchemist-Paulo Coelho
Atonement-Ian McEwan
Catching Fire-Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay-Suzanne Collins
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets-JK Rowling
The Screwtape Letters-CS Lewis
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-JK Rowling
The Five Love Languages-Gary Chapman
Room-Emma Donoghue
Rediscover Catholicism-Matthew Kelly
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian-Sherman Alexie
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo-Stieg Larsson
The Girl who Played with Fire-Stieg Larsson
Blue Like Jazz-Donald Miller

Just Doing My Job

Last week I had an evaluation at my job. It was positive, and my boss told me that I've done exceptionally well, that the quality of my work was "above and beyond." I told her that I didn't see myself that way. I just saw my performance as "doing my job...accomplishing what I was hired to do."

I share this anecdote today in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr., not because I compare myself to him or because I feel I'm obliged to post something on a day that celebrates his accomplishments but because it makes me wonder what would happen if everyone just "did their job" in a way that was perceived by others as "above and beyond."

Some of the leaders who inspire me the most weren't looking for recognition. Mohandas K. Gandhi was a model of humility. Nelson Mandela once appeared on Oprah and asked "What's the subject of today's show?" not realizing that his story was more than enough to fill 60 minutes. Blessed Mother Teresa never brought light to herself and instead claimed that "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, who could probably opt to have a lush life of luxury and indulgence says she has "a really cool day job" and fights for education and equality. Modern day education reformers say that what they do isn't for themselves but "for the children."

They're all people who believe in a sense of community. They fight against what Bobby Kennedy so eloquently called "The Mindless Menace of Violence" that plagues our nation and creates second class citizens. And they don't do it for their own sake. They do it for everyone else.

I believe that's the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. His message was one of equality and justice, but it was also a message of looking out for one another and seeing yourself in your neighbor. He believed in a world where people believed in the dignity of every human being, and he didn't it without looking for recognition. In fact, he did it knowing that his ideas were revolutionary. Perhaps most importantly, he did it because he knew it was the right thing and the moral thing to do. I don't know if I take on the same attitude with my work when I say I'm "just doing my job," but I like to think that somehow I'm echoing the work ethic of all these great leaders when I walk into the office every day. Imagine what would happen if we all did that.

Biggest Lessons of 2010

I've never been big on writing an end of the year blog post because I don't believe in using new years as landmarks to change your life. I always say "Why wait until January 1 to make your life better? Only yesterday is guaranteed."

Still, given everything that has happened to me in these past 12 months, I can't help but recall some of the things I've learned.

1. I don't care about who gets the credit, but I do care when people take credit for something they didn't do.
I've heard time after time that "you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe that there's a lot of truth to that statement, and I try to accept it. When I'm in group situations and trying to solve a problem, I really don't care if I make the breakthrough and don't get recognition for it because as long as the solution is effective, I feel accomplished. BUT I've been in a few situations where I've worked my butt off to do something and someone else has gotten and accepted the credit. It REALLY bugged me. Sure people can tell me to be more gracious and less bothered by this, but I've decided I'm only human and I'm allowed to be peeved by people who get praised for cake that they didn't bake.

2. People who befriend you as a result of tragic situations can turn out to be friends for life.
Sometimes life is rough and throws some nasty things at you.The only thing that gets you through it is the people around you. I've been dealt some tough blows, but in 2010 I learned that despite that, people are still willing to be generous and kind despite all those scars. When people befriend you while you're at rock bottom, they know how to take care of you in bad times. And they're the ones you want by your side when it's time to celebrate the good times.

3. Sometimes taking the longer route isn't a bad idea. And sometimes the longer route is more scenic.
Once you hit a certain age (say 25), your peers start to place expectations on you: You should be married. You should know the direction that your career is going to take. Your bank account should be steady and stable. This year, I've learned that those expectations don't matter, and the notion that people who don't follow them are worthless is a lie. Sure it's important to have goals and to plan accordingly, but you don't have to take the shortest route between point A and point B. In fact, just like when you're taking a road trip, when you take the longer, more scenic route, you learn more and see a lot of beautiful things along the way.

4. People surprise you when allow them to show you who they are.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. I've learned that this isn't necessarily true. First impressions are important, but they don't have to be what defines a person. This year, I've learned that people aren't always who I expect them to be. Some have turned out better than I expected, and others have been worse than I originally thought. The point is that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.

5. I'm worth it.
Never again will I allow someone else to tell me that I'm not brilliant, talented, gorgeous or fabulous. Nor will I allow people to tell me that believing that I am all these things makes me unworthy of getting what I want or deserve.

I hope that I can put all these lessons into action in 2011.

12 Days of Christmas

12.13.10-12 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I spent $55 on shipping. I don't even care.

12.14.10-11 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I brought cards to all of my coworkers. In return, I got a martini glass filled with nuts, a book and a gift certificate for a pedicure and bottle of wine with my buddy. :-)

12.15.10-10 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I walked into an elementary school and saw a teacher with antlers on her head because it was "reindeer day." Then, I went over to the 4th grade hall and was informed that the paper chain links that were draped from the ceiling symbolized the cans of food that they had collected for the food bank.

12.16.10-9 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I got a holiday package from one of my most favorite people in the world. Inside was a bag of chocolate and an apron. :-D I also got warm socks, homemade jam and Dutch chocolate from a real Dutch person! I am truly blessed to be around such generous friends!

12.17.10-8 Days 'Til Christmas
Laundry Day! How excited am I about a trip to LALA Land? I hate to pack, but it reminds me that I'm going somewhere awesome to celebrate the holidays.

12.18.10-7 Days 'Til Christmas
In preparation for the holidays, I ate all of the truffles that a coworker made me. She's an expert at sweets, so of course they were delicious and wrapped beautifully. The only downside is that they go fast! So, I tried to make some truffles of my own. Unfortunately, I'm no expert like she is, and my concoction ended up more like chocolate mousse. Still delicious, but it's not quite the same!

12.19.10-6 Days 'Til Christmas
I can't say that today was a great day. I'm supposed to leave for LA, but instead I'm sitting trapped in the airport waiting to leave in the morning. Things had been going so well that I guess I was due for a down. I had boarded the plane and not even 20 minutes passed by before the pilot said that we would be unable to take off due to the weather. I understood. Safety first. But those 20 minutes were dreadful...not because of the anticipation of leaving or the discomfort of those little seats. The problem was these three males behind me. Not only were they loud and obnoxious, but they were also flipping through a magazine (which I didn't care to turn around to look at) and deciding which women they "would do." They also asserted "how lucky Hugh Heffner" is because he "gets to bang all those girls." Mind you, these guys couldn't have been older than 14, 15 or so. It made me sad to hear that trashy talk coming out of their mouths not only because it's degrading to women (and men, too) but also because that's the age group I work with. I hate to see the youth of today tarnished by such attitudes. Granted, they're probably the kids who need the most love and attention, so I guess that I've found what I need to add to my Christmas list this year.

12.20.10-5 Days 'Til Christmas
FINALLY got to my holiday destination! It's raining here, but I'll take water over frozen water for now.

12.21.10-4 Days 'Til Christmas
Wrapped presents. I don't know what it is, but I LOVE wrapping presents. I guess it's part of the process of giving that makes me happy. Or maybe it's just one of those things that reminds me of being in kindergarten--with all that cutting and taping and making things fit into the right boxes. Bonus points if I get to make the package look pretty with various random embellishments. I'm convinced that  sometimes the effort that you put into the wrapping is part of the present itself.

12.22.10-3 Days 'Til Christmas
Spent the day sick in bed. Too much holiday cheer? No way. There's no such thing.

12.23.10-2 Days 'Til Christmas
Last minute shopping. I went everywhere with big sister today. Best part was going to a Mexican superstore and hearing Spanish songs other than Feliz Navidad. :-D

12.24.10-1 Day Until Christmas
How awesome is it when you go to a Christmas party as the newbie and walk away with $10 playing silly Christmas games? I never knew that my word scrambling skills could be put to such good use when finding how many words can be made from the letters in the phrase "Merry Christmas"

12.25.10-MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Teenage Dream

Do you remember your teenage love? You know, the person that you were so sure you were going to be with forever even though you were a junior or senior in high school and realistically, marriage, was a good 5-10 years away.

I remember mine. I was 17 years old when I was so sure that something could happen between me and the star of our golf team (yes, I said GOLF TEAM--but before you make fun, remember that I'm from the golf mecca of the world). Of course, that didn't amount to anything, but I started thinking about him one day when I was listening to the radio and Katy Perry's Teenage Dream came on.




It made me wonder--why does pop culture (and society in general) refer to the teen years as the "glory years?" After the Katy Perry incident, I started thinking back to some of the other music on my ipod: Alicia Keys Teenage Love Affair and Tyga's First Tymers. How many times have you heard an adult who's in love say "I feel like a teenager again?" Is it simply that being a teenager reminds you of being young and fresh when everything was new and exciting? Maybe those feelings of excitement were the case for some people, but all I remember about being a teenage was awkwardness, self-doubt and naivete.

If I were to rewrite Katy Perry's song, I would include lines about zits, too heavy eyeshadow, ill-fitting clothing, and complete confusion. Sure teenage years are a great time to learn a lot of lessons, but for me, it was far from a dream.

To be honest, when it comes to relationships, I'm still learning. Sometimes it does feel like I'm back in high school where I didn't really know anything about love. But maybe THAT'S the dream. I've always touted the learning process, so maybe that's why this thing of relationships is believable as a dream. You keep on learning from the good relationships, no matter how awkward they may be.

Powerful Beyond Measure

This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time with some amazing teenage girls and young women. One of the most touching parts of the weekend was when we sat in a circle and identified two things that we loved about ourselves. The answers ranged from being able to make people laugh, making good grades and confidence to butts, freckles and legs. As each female gave her response, it was like a light was moving around the circle.

Still, as we went around the circle, one of the young adults said, "I like my body...and I feel bad about saying that, but I do. I really like my body."

It seems like that's a common reaction out in the real world. Why do women feel bad about celebrating our beauty? We call women bitches and snobs when they - even humbly - say that they feel beautiful. We're "haters" when we see other women accomplish great things. We allow jealousy, doubt and fear to eclipse our own greatness.

Don't we realize that we are all powerful beyond measure? Half of this world is held up by the hands of women! Our bodies have nourished mankind. We can push melons through an aperture that's the size of a pea! No man can do that.

I'm making a promise to myself: that I won't feel bad when I celebrate my belief I'm a good listener, gifted when it comes to working with youth, smart, and patient with everyone I come across. I'm determined to reach my dreams, and believe I'm worth people's time. On top of that, I like the way I smile, and I think my petite body, nose and ears are really cute...like really cute. :-)

When women recognize their captivating beauty both inside and out, men who doubt us don't stand a chance!

Real Women

One of the things that I love about my job is talking to the mothers of the children I work with and learning from their experiences.

One mother recently said, "I'm so glad that there are  young women working with the teens and middle schoolers here. I don't think young women and teenage girls realize that they have the power to set the tone in their relationships."

She went on to say that women, in the past few decades, have shaped themselves into empowered individuals who can live on their own but then they turn around and wonder why they "can't find any good men." She told me about a conversation she had with a a male friend of hers who had always been accustomed to holding doors open to women, but lately he's been standing at doors wondering "Should I open this door for her or will she think that I'm patronizing her because I think she can't open the door for herself?"

Have women emasculated men to the point where men don't know what their roles are in relationships? And with the surge of the "feminist movement," have women lost the sense of what femininity is?

I get lectures about how women didn't burn their bras so I could be complacent. But does it mean that I'm complacent if I let a man open a door for me or if I wouldn't want to have children without a man by my side? And does it mean that women who stay at home as a wives and mothers aren't feminists because they let their husbands be the primary breadwinners?

My opinions are summarized by scenes in Mona Lisa Smile, where Julia Roberts scolds her class at Wellesley as "the smartest women in the nation" who will use their physics degrees solely to make calculations on how to perfectly roast a chicken and Julia Stiles' retort later on that "being a wife and mother" is what she really wants.

It just brings up a lot of questions--what defines a modern woman and what role does a man play in a modern woman's life?