Biggest Lessons of 2010

I've never been big on writing an end of the year blog post because I don't believe in using new years as landmarks to change your life. I always say "Why wait until January 1 to make your life better? Only yesterday is guaranteed."

Still, given everything that has happened to me in these past 12 months, I can't help but recall some of the things I've learned.

1. I don't care about who gets the credit, but I do care when people take credit for something they didn't do.
I've heard time after time that "you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe that there's a lot of truth to that statement, and I try to accept it. When I'm in group situations and trying to solve a problem, I really don't care if I make the breakthrough and don't get recognition for it because as long as the solution is effective, I feel accomplished. BUT I've been in a few situations where I've worked my butt off to do something and someone else has gotten and accepted the credit. It REALLY bugged me. Sure people can tell me to be more gracious and less bothered by this, but I've decided I'm only human and I'm allowed to be peeved by people who get praised for cake that they didn't bake.

2. People who befriend you as a result of tragic situations can turn out to be friends for life.
Sometimes life is rough and throws some nasty things at you.The only thing that gets you through it is the people around you. I've been dealt some tough blows, but in 2010 I learned that despite that, people are still willing to be generous and kind despite all those scars. When people befriend you while you're at rock bottom, they know how to take care of you in bad times. And they're the ones you want by your side when it's time to celebrate the good times.

3. Sometimes taking the longer route isn't a bad idea. And sometimes the longer route is more scenic.
Once you hit a certain age (say 25), your peers start to place expectations on you: You should be married. You should know the direction that your career is going to take. Your bank account should be steady and stable. This year, I've learned that those expectations don't matter, and the notion that people who don't follow them are worthless is a lie. Sure it's important to have goals and to plan accordingly, but you don't have to take the shortest route between point A and point B. In fact, just like when you're taking a road trip, when you take the longer, more scenic route, you learn more and see a lot of beautiful things along the way.

4. People surprise you when allow them to show you who they are.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. I've learned that this isn't necessarily true. First impressions are important, but they don't have to be what defines a person. This year, I've learned that people aren't always who I expect them to be. Some have turned out better than I expected, and others have been worse than I originally thought. The point is that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.

5. I'm worth it.
Never again will I allow someone else to tell me that I'm not brilliant, talented, gorgeous or fabulous. Nor will I allow people to tell me that believing that I am all these things makes me unworthy of getting what I want or deserve.

I hope that I can put all these lessons into action in 2011.

Teenage Dream

Do you remember your teenage love? You know, the person that you were so sure you were going to be with forever even though you were a junior or senior in high school and realistically, marriage, was a good 5-10 years away.

I remember mine. I was 17 years old when I was so sure that something could happen between me and the star of our golf team (yes, I said GOLF TEAM--but before you make fun, remember that I'm from the golf mecca of the world). Of course, that didn't amount to anything, but I started thinking about him one day when I was listening to the radio and Katy Perry's Teenage Dream came on.




It made me wonder--why does pop culture (and society in general) refer to the teen years as the "glory years?" After the Katy Perry incident, I started thinking back to some of the other music on my ipod: Alicia Keys Teenage Love Affair and Tyga's First Tymers. How many times have you heard an adult who's in love say "I feel like a teenager again?" Is it simply that being a teenager reminds you of being young and fresh when everything was new and exciting? Maybe those feelings of excitement were the case for some people, but all I remember about being a teenage was awkwardness, self-doubt and naivete.

If I were to rewrite Katy Perry's song, I would include lines about zits, too heavy eyeshadow, ill-fitting clothing, and complete confusion. Sure teenage years are a great time to learn a lot of lessons, but for me, it was far from a dream.

To be honest, when it comes to relationships, I'm still learning. Sometimes it does feel like I'm back in high school where I didn't really know anything about love. But maybe THAT'S the dream. I've always touted the learning process, so maybe that's why this thing of relationships is believable as a dream. You keep on learning from the good relationships, no matter how awkward they may be.

I Picked Up My Pen

It's been about a year and a half since I started with this blog, and just for fun I decided to read over some of my earlier posts. Then I realized that my inaugural post, I Dropped My Fork doesn't even apply anymore because that so-called "Dreamboat" has sailed away...and now there are so many things that I can't stand about him. Funny how things can change in one year. Still, I have to admit that my world is still pretty upside-down.

In the 18 months since I started this blog, I've had numerous conversations about relationships, and I recently told someone that I really want to end up with a man who I can potentially learn from every day. The reaction: "Wow...that's a pretty high expectation." I never thought it was, but that response made me sit and think about whether or not trying to learn something from someone else is realistic at all. And it made me wonder, too, "Are my expectations too high? Is it even possible to learn something new everyday?"

I've always had a passion for learning and I've always thought that it was important to surround myself with people who challenge me and the way that I think. But now I wonder...is it even possible? So I'm starting an experiment that I'll be documenting on a new blog: The Eternal Classroom. In the Eternal Classroom, I'll be documenting the new somethings I learn each day. Stay tuned. So here I go...I'm picking up my pen, and I'm ready to learn.