Thursday, December 17, 2009

If My Life Had a Soundtrack

I love the show Glee. I've only watched a few episodes, but I'm hooked and eagerly anticipating a new season of this deliciously addictive sitcom.


Whenever a great musical comes out, I find myself wishing that it were more socially acceptable to burst into song in the middle of the street...or in my case, the office...or the grocery store. More than once, I've wanted to just start spinning around at the park near my house and sing "The hillllllllllllls are alive with the sound of music!" I've also looked at my bills and the first few chords of "Rent" have begun to play in my mind. I've also thought "Beauty School Drop Out" upon seeing a woman clad in animal print leggings and overprocessed big hair. And I've imagined finding the perfect guy and recited "Love is a many splendoured thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you needs is love" in my head.

Life is a whole lot better when it's set to music, so here it is...my life set to a soundtrack:

The first time I heard Everything by Michael Buble, I decided that if my life were ever turned into a movie or a television series that it would be played during the opening credits. I can just imagine myself twirling around on the streets of some fictional city dotted with fruit stands and flower carts. I've got shopping bags in my hands and a sweet little trench coat on. I am, indeed, Everything. And as I'm getting ready for work, the song She Is by The Fray is blaring from my radio so that I'll feel confident and fresh for whatever the day has for me. I walk to the office wearing 3-inch heels to the tune of One Step at a Time Jordin Sparks.

On the weekends, I'll Be Lovin' You Long Time by Mariah Carey will be playing as I go shopping, watch college football, go out, and have girl talk with my besties and of course, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew will be playing in the background as I spot the man of my dreams from across the room. (Seriously, could it have been anything else? Don't you remember the origin of this blog?)

And as Mr. Right and I skip through what I can only imagine will be an open meadow complete with daisies and butterflies, Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now by Joss Stone feat. Common will accompany our first kiss. For some time, we'll be that couple that everyone envies; that couple that everyone wants to be; that couple that makes everyone want to barf in their mouths just a little bit. But it won't last long because he'll cheat on me...not because he doesn't love me but because he's a little bit afraid of relationships and commitment. As he's trying to sort out his feelings, Nickelback's Far Away and Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You plays over and over again in his dark and twisty mind while he tries to be bright and shiny to his man friends who try to convince him to get over me.

Meanwhile, I'm pissed. While he's listening to songs like Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams and believe it or not, Taylor Swift's Teardrops on My Guitar, I'm listening to The M People's Moving on Up and Fiona Apple's Criminal not because I've done something wrong but because if I act on the anger building up inside me, I really will need a good defense. Then I switch it up to songs like Eminem's Lose Yourself and Eye of the Tiger while I shadowbox and run (a lot of running at this point) because frankly all I can think of is punching "Mr. She was there so was I and things just got carried away" square in the nose and working out is all that restrains me from actually doing so.

Switch back to Mr. Trying to Improve Himself who has decided that he'll do anything to get me back. After all, he's just heard Sofia Barbosa's Kissing You which he made fun of me for loving the first time we watched Romeo + Juliet together. That line about "watching stars without you, my soul cries" was clearly just too much, so he enlists the help of my best friend who turns out to be a fairy godmother of some sorts (for whom isn't so certain). She convinces him to stop moping, bathe, shave, get a hot new haircut (which I was never able to do, but whatever) and buy me flowers from an aforementioned flower cart...all to a few lines from Madonna's Dress You Up in My Love (because what's life without a Madonna song?)

By this time, I'm starting to miss him, too, but because I am Superwoman a la Alicia Keys I have too much pride to go back to him. And just when things look like they're not going to work between us, he shows up with his slick new style and a radio on his shoulder, throwing rocks at my window. He lays flowers down on the sidewalk and it turns out he's recruited some of his friends to treat me to a choreographed performance of Jay Sean's Do You Remember...because people dance when lives are set to soundtracks. I pretend to be embarrassed, but of course, I'm totally flattered. Who can say no to that? So of course, I rush down the stairs to accept his apology, and that's when our new anthem, Til Kingdom Come (did you really think I could have a soundtrack to my life without Coldplay?) plays in the closing credits.

And of course, there will be a sequel to this story, not because it doesn't end there, but because I couldn't fit my favorite--The Nearness of You by Norah Jones--in this time.

What would be on the soundtrack of your life?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Weirdest Dream Ever

Photo from www.Tessellations.org

So, I've had a lot of pretty crazy dreams, but I had a really weird one last night.
First of all, I was married (yeah, already weird, right?) to a really successful architect, and we had a very happy life together. He designed beautiful buildings and homes and I was a happy, supportive wife.

I got called to do an interview with some popular architecture magazine, so the writer of the article came to my house while my husband was away on a business trip. My husband had designed a pretty sweet pile of bricks for us. And I'm pretty sure we were living in Miami because this house looked a lot like the ones on CSI:Miami. You know, the spacious ones with light-colored interior, big windows, fancy staircases and tiled floors.

But anyway, there I was, sitting in my gorgeous living room with a reporter from Architecture Magazine talking about my husband's designs. When asked to describe his architectural style, I said that it was "tessellation infused." I didn't know what "tessellation-infused" meant this morning when I woke up, so of course, I Googled it and found this website:


http://www.tessellations.org/

So it turns out that tessellations have something to do with art, and likely could be incorporated into architecture. This proves that I may be smarter in my dreams than I am in real life.


Back to the dream...I offered to show the reporter around so she could see examples of tessellations throughout the house, and I noticed that every time she walked into a room, she would flick her wrist like she was casting a spell.


I must have also had a baby because after the reporter left, I was in a nursery going through a laundry basket full of baby clothes. And then my husband called to see how the interview had gone.


I was walking out of the nursery door with the laundry basket in my hands and all of a sudden, I realized I couldn't move. After trying to explain to my husband that I couldn't move, he said, "Baby...if you can't move and your hands are on the laundry basket, who's holding the phone for you?"


That's when I screamed because I realized that clearly the reporter had haunted our beautiful home and a ghost was holding the phone up to my ear. And that's when I woke up.

Man, this would make an amazing movie...or a book! Didn't Stephanie Meyer dream up Twilight?