Plain Jane

Plain Jane. Girl Next Door. They pretty much mean the same thing. It's that girl that you're friends with but don't necessarily drool over. You're comfortable with Plain Jane. You hang out with her, go to the mall, watch movies together. But she's not the hottie you talk to with your buddies if you're a guy or the girl you secretly envy if you're a girl.


I've plugged myself into the category of this "Girl Next Door" type, so when CW came out with a show called Plain Jane with the premise of making over an ordinary girl so that she can tell her crush about her feelings for him, I couldn't help but watch.

To make a long story short, the girl Cristen had a crush on her guy friend Ty for six years but was always considered to be just a friend and "one of the guys." Enter beautiful woman with a British accent for the role of "fairy godmother" who critiques Cristen's "Plain Jane" ways from her clothing to her bedding and even takes Cristen to a burlesque club. After asking Cristen about her thoughts on the performance, Cristen says "Well, that's nice...for her." She is then instructed to make up her own burlesque routine to help build confidence and learn how to be sexy. One of my favorite parts of the show came when the pair was shopping for new clothes and the Plain Jane said "Can't you celebrate curves under a sweatshirt?"

Truthfully, I kept on asking myself..."Why should she have to change for this man like this? Won't he be falling for the made up version of this girl and not the person she is inside?" Don't get me wrong. I totally believe in dressing up every now and then, playing with my hair and experimenting with makeup to look pretty for the right man. But I would also want him to fall in love with me for the person I am inside, not the magic I can do with a flatiron and makeup brushes. My heart sunk a little bit when Cristen looked in the mirror and said "Wow...I don't look like myself." The thing is, I thought she was so cute even before the transformation.

Granted, she got the guy in the end and they stuck together. But I have to wonder...what will he think when he sees what she went through to get his attention? Will he be impressed? Flattered? A little creeped out? Who knows?

In my case, I just want to know that I won't have to pull out the glittery eyeshadow and high heels to keep a man happy. And I would want him to know that when the makeup comes off, I'm still the same Melissa that he was attracted to in the beginning.

And the big question remains the same:  Will there ever be a Plain Joe show where men are made over so they can reveal their feelings for a girl? Or is it just girls who need to change their image to reel in the guys they want?

I Hate Cliches

As a reader and a writer, I get bothered by phrases that I hear so much that they lose their meaning. Words like random, epic, fail, and whatnot are like nails on a chalkboard to me when people use them over and over again in everyday conversation. Here are some phrases that do the same:

1.) What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.-People who tell you this can't think of anything better to say when you've reached rock bottom and are being kicked by everyone around you. I believe that there's a purpose to pain. Sometimes it is to make you a stronger person, but more often than not it's there to warn you from doing that thing that caused the pain in the first place. And what if you don't intend to get stronger? Sometimes it's okay to just be hurt and expect nothing from the pain aside from sheer misery.

2.) Distance makes the heart grow fonder-Whoever said (and firmly believes in it) this has never been in a position where he has been separated from people he hates. Sure, I get warm fuzzies when I see people I love after a long separation, but being separated from people I can't stand is a big bowl of cherries with whipped cream on top.

3.) Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, at least you'll be among the stars.-I'm all for being optimistic and dreaming big, but this is pretty much bull. Shoot for the moon and all you end up with is sore arms and the unfortunate experience of landing in the cow paddy that you didn't notice because you were shooting at something unattainable.

4.) If at first you don't succeed, try try again and its mischievous cousin If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you've tried.-Glass half full people believe in the former. Glass half empty people believe in the latter.

5.) If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back, he's yours to keep-Someone has never been in love before. I've thought that if you truly love someone, you hold on tight. It's like fishing. Once you get that beautiful fish on your line, why let it go? OK--bad analogy, but why let go of something beautiful?

Is there some truth to these quotes? Maybe. But they still irk me. Maybe it's because I value creativity and originality. Maybe it's because they don't usually go my way or I hear them after some horrible failure. In any case, I figure there's a better way to say all of the things above.

Books vs. Movies

When my friends rave about the latest movie they've seen, 70% of the time, I respond by saying, "I haven't seen the movie, but I read the book...and it was FABULOUS!"

The movie, Eat, Pray, Love caught my eye because I love Julia Roberts, and am tempted to watch the movie despite not being very fond of Elizabeth Gilbert's book. (But can I tell you about how jealous I am that Gilbert gets to have a superstar like Julia Roberts play her in the movie?!?)

The thing is that I typically love books more than movies because I feel like my imagination is much more vibrant than what directors and producers put up on the screen. Lord of the Rings is the perfect example. Now, I'm not one to argue with the expertise with the likes of Peter Jackson, but the way I envisioned the Fellowship returning the ring was a lot more dramatic. It's easy to say that it had to be more dramatic in my mind because the scene in the book took up one measly paragraph, but there's just something about being able to create something in your mind while you're reading a book.

And is it me, or is the talent in Hollywood a little bland when it comes to them playing your favorite characters from books? Now, I love Kal Penn for his activism, but he just didn't do Jhumpa Lahiri's Gogol Ganguli any justice. He had the chance to be a three dimensional character struggling between two cultures, but instead he was a scowling kid who turned out to be, quite frankly, a little annoying. How can I relate to a character like that?

But then again, this is why I'm toying with watching Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love. Maybe she can give hope to the lost art of translating what's on the page to something meaningful on the screen.

Toddler Toolbox

There are certain things that people need as children in order to be happy, productive adults. After all, I believe that most adults are just bigger versions of who they were at the age of five. Why do you think that the most successful people (like Bill Gates) often boast about having a great father who was there for him and gave him boundaries while most of the prison population had some kind of traumatic experiences in their early years?

So, here I go...Things that I believe every little one should have:

1.) An imagination-Kids won't be able to have everything they won't. It's not economically possible, but if they have a good imagination, at least they can pretend they have everything! They can also pretend that they're slaying dragons, sailing to Neverneverland or if they turn out to be like me, that they had an imaginary duck friend that tried to steal their favorite blanket. (And you wonder why I'm the way I am now)

2.) Books!-I honestly believe that children who read are a million times smarter, more disciplined and more likely to be ready and willing to learn both in and outside of the classroom. It's a true bonus when parents are willing to read to their kids in different characters' voices. And plus, books fuel #1!

3.) Healthy food-How do you expect kids to be able to slay dragons and chase imaginary ducks if they're living on Oreos and Ding Dongs? A healthy diet is important and doesn't have to be boring.

4.) Positive mentors-The first of such role models are, of course, the parents. But I believe that kids need an even bigger supporting cast including older siblings, teachers, aunts, uncles. It really does take a village. Kids (actually all people) are seeking validation, and if they don't find it from a positive mentor, they will find it out on the streets.

5.) Understanding parents-I firmly believe that half of the fun of being a toddler is playing with a mom and dad who aren't uptight about matching clothes all the time, don't mind building forts out of the sofa cushions (and any other cushion in the house), support running through sprinklers and understand that your first birthday cake is all about eating with your hands.

I've heard statistics that children's most formative time is during the first five years of their lives. During that time, they should be allowed some freedom to play, imagine and be cared for by people who really love them. They should have everything they need but not necessarily everything they want.