Blast from the Past

I was cleaning out my room today and came across some pretty interesting things: old pictures, my baby blanket, clothes I regret ever buying and wearing, mementos that I'm sure were supposed to go into a scrapbook. But the most interesting thing that I found was a stack of old journals. I was too embarrassed to read through some of the entries containing hopeless romantic poetry and rants and raves about this crush or that failed friendship that jogged my memory and brought me back to times when I was most vulnerable and naive. But there were a others that just they sent me back into some of my earlier days:

From 07.17.97
My brother, Moe, left for Thailand almost two weeks ago. He'll probably be there for about three years, and I miss him already. I still remember the day at the airport. We left the house early in the morning. It was hard for all of us to let Moe go, especially considering he won't be home for three years.

Thirteen years later, Moe is still in Thailand, happier than ever. I miss him a lot, but I know that he's incredibly happy with his life there, and if he hadn't made that move, Git, Sam and Rae wouldn't be in our lives today.

From 01.12.98
Today I went to the movies with Charlotte to see Titanic. It was really good, and I think that it's one of my favorite movies. I cried a lot. It made me think about love. Now I have a much better perspective on love. I look at it and wonder why some people can look at it and see it as anything less than beautiful.

Ugh...Can I please tell you about how much I hate the movie Titanic now? Aside from the beautiful dresses that Kate Winslet wore, I can't really bare to watch it. And while I still believe that love is a beautiful thing, I can't believe how sappy I was at the ripe age of 16!

From 10.01.00
I decided to download AOL Instant Messenger today, and I do think that it's proven to be a good decision. I spent a couple of hours talking to Cody. He's still the same old Cody-crazy guy.

I don't know what's more shocking--that there was a time when computers weren't preloaded with AIM or that I don't remember why I would have spent hours talking to a guy named Cody.

From 10.09.00
It seems like it's been forever since I've written in my journal, but in reality, it's only been three days. There's so much I have to say. First of all, I had a ball at the Georgia-Tennessee game, my first college football game. We won 21-10, and I'm so sure that seeing the goalposts come down and all those fans on the field is a once in a lifetime experience. It was awesome and I'm sure that I won't forget it.

True. I haven't forgotten that game. I wore jeans and a red sweater. I remember asking my RA what I should wear, and she said "just don't wear orange." I later walked down to Sanford Stadium with a girl from my hall that I barely knew, but it didn't matter because once we got to the stands, it really was like we were all one big Bulldog Nation. After we won, a bunch of the students, myself NOT included, rushed the field. It turned out that a female Asian student was sent to the hospital with some injuries as she made her way to the field, and it made the national news. The following day I got a phone call from my older brother to make sure that it wasn't me.

From 11.18.00
It finally happened. I crossed into Delta Phi Lambda. It was such an awesome ceremony. I've learned so much about patience, tolerance, humility, respect and sisterhood. Delta Phi Lambda is all about letting others know that there's always someone to help them - whether it be in the sorority or in the community.

Man, it's crazy how something can mean the world to you at one moment in time. Regardless of how things turn out in the end, you always treasure those bits of beauty where you feel like you're on top of the world. I still remember that that's how I felt when I finally got my hands on those letters!

From 11.21.00
I went to Westside to visit the yearbook staff with Nicole today. When Charlotte came over last night, we talked about how it was possible to feel uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable in high school. I guess some things never change, huh? This is exactly why I don't intend to go to my ten year reunion.

From 01.01.01
It's a new year. I know that I've changed a lot in the past year. Charlotte says I'm more confident and more sure of myself. I think that I owe that in part to going off to college.

Maybe it really is where I "found myself"

From 12.13.03
In seven days I will close one chapter of my life that has lasted for three and a half years as I graduate from the University of Georgia. In seven days, I will embark on a new journey filled with hope that I am equipped with the tools necessary to fulfill whatever it is that God has in store for me. And I do believe that it is something very exciting that will make me happy. What I'm not so sure about is what I am going to leave behind here. I'll miss my girls a lot. And I definitely feel like I've learned more about myself and life in general this semester. Among these essentials are how to be a true leader, how to stand up for myself, the importance of family, responsibility and honesty. I truly feel like I have made this semester worth every minute, and I have absolutely no regrets about anything I have said or done.

No lie. This entry almost made me cry. I remember sitting at UGA's Herty Field writing this. I really miss North Campus!

From 01.01.04
I have been a UGA Alumna for twelve days now, and I think that it still hasn't fully sunk in. It was a really good ceremony, and the speakers were really good, too. Dr. Eve Trout-Powell was our keynote speaker. I remember having her husband, Dr. Timothy Powell as a teacher, and I was so excited about having his wife speak, especially considering that she recently received the MacArthur Grant, which is also known as "the genius award." What I will take from her speech is how to "increase your peripheral vision" and to not stop growing and learning from my experiences and from others. There are a lot of different sides to things, and It is important to look at all of them while also remaining true to yourself."

I still believe these things. There's a reason why Dr. Eve Trout-Powell got that genius award, and there's a reason why I still identify Dr. Timothy Powell as "that teacher" who inspired me more than any other.

Among these entries were so many others that forced me to reflect back on where I was when I wrote them. It's amazing to see progress and to see how far I've come. But so many of those entries also remind me that I also have a long way to go. I had a habit of listing goals, and upon reviewing them, I've found that some of them no longer apply while some of them just need a little more rejuvenation. I guess that maybe that's why we keep journals--to record meaningful memories and to remind the present self of where the past self expected us to be.

True Beauty

I caught a few snippets of the 2010 Miss USA Pageant, and I noticed something. The two hosts identified these 51 gorgeous women by the states they represented. So, I can't even tell you the name of the woman who was crowned at the end. I can only refer to her as "Michigan." She wasn't even Miss Michigan. She was just "Michigan."

I'm sure that "Michgan," will now be known as "USA," (and maybe then "Universe") but I can't help but wonder how much it sucks to be addressed not by your name, but by the entity that you represent. Then it got me thinking about labels. Just as Michigan wore (literally) the label of her state, many of our outer attributes label us.

Just recently I was placed in a position where I was able to interact with many people, and before I got to speak to them and learn their names and parts of their personal stories, I referred to them by what they looked like. So, I could say I spent the weekend with "plaid shirt girl," "blue-eyed couple," "linebacker" and an assortment of other characters who I labeled based on their attire or physical features. But as I actually got to know these people, I was able to remove those labels and replace them with actual identities.

On the flip side, I recently scanned the magazine covers at the grocery store and noticed that Jessica Simpson decided to go makeup-less on the cover of Marie Claire and many other celebrities including Kim Kardashian and the women of The Today Show decided to challenge themselves and go on the job without makeup. In doing so, they took off their labels that say they have to be airbrushed, and look good all the time and they looked like real people rather than just the images that are plastered across TV screens and billboards.

All this makes me realize that you can't judge people by what they look like on the outside, especially if you don't know who they truly are on the inside. But when you're willing to peel back those labels, you can find something that is truly beautiful. And in regards to my own experiences, I've decided that it's not wise to judge a person from a mile away until I've walked that mile with them. If I can actually do that, it will truly be beautiful.

My Most Influential

I'm obsessed with Time Magazine's annual list of the Most Influential People. It's interesting to me to see who is considered influential enough to make the list. A lot of the choices are obvious-global statesmen, popular entertainers, and of course, Oprah Winfrey has made the list every year since it's been published.

But what is it that makes people influential to the everyday person? Aside from close family and friends, what is it that makes a person look at someone else and say "He/She has mattered in my life."

Apparently Time Magazine also hosts a gala for the 100 Most Influential. If given the chance, these are the people I would want to invite to a gala and honor as my most influential.

Education Reformers: Wendy Kopp, Steve Perry, Arne Duncan and Geoffrey Canada

First and foremost are the Education Reformers. I firmly believe that an education is the best gift that you can give anyone and that when given an education, children can break their way through any obstacle. Wendy Kopp, founder and CEO of Teach for American dedicates her life to closing the achievement gap. Steve Perry challenges students from low income neighborhoods to push themselves towards excellence at Capital Prep where 100% of students not only graduate but also go on to 4-year colleges and universities. Arne Duncan has urged American school districts to be creative in combating low graduation rates and underperforming schools. Geoffrey Canada has revolutionized education in Harlem through the Harlem Children's Zone by recognizing that it's not just the teachers in the classroom who are responsible for the development of our youth. Without people such as Wendy Kopp, Steve Perry, Arne Duncan and Geoffrey Canada, American education could easily go down the drain, but with their effort and the efforts of those who are motivated by them, American children are ready to soar.

Leaders: Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, Representative John Lewis, Nelson Mandela

I once read that after the deaths of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert Kennedy in the 60s, that "The willingness to follow and believe the (leaders) who stand before us has never been regained. We will never be able to love our leaders like that again..." I don't think anyone can ever compare to MLK Jr. or the Kennedys, but we've reached an era where we can find some leaders who are worthy of being followed and loved. Queen Rania's efforts to educate children, especially young girls is particularly fitting for a woman of her status. And I love how she describes herself as "a mum and a wife with a really cool day job." You can't get any realer than that. In considering great leaders, you cannot overlook John Lewis. During his inauguration, President Barack Obama passed a note to John Lewis that said "Because of you, John." John Lewis was prepared for the persecution that he met in hundreds of sit-ins, and had it not been for his leadership back then in the civil rights movement and his leadership in Congress now, we wouldn't enjoy so many of the rights we have today. Like John Lewis, Nelson Mandela has been a beacon of light for those who have been seen as "lesser humans." When John Lewis stood up at his trial and said, "I have fought against black domination. I have fought against white domination. It is a cause for which, if need be, I am prepared to die." It makes me wonder...what causes would our generation be willing to die for?

Thinkers: Melinda Gates, Michelle Obama, Jeffrey Sachs, Christiane Amanpour

In a world of mediocrity, it's refreshing to have people who are willing to think outside of the box. I can't even put myself in Melinda French Gates's shoes. She was brilliant on her own and then she went on to marry one of the most successful businessmen ever. Along with her husband, she developed the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which changed the lives of millions of people worldwide. She is a visionary. Michelle Obama is in the Amazing Wives Club along with Melinda Gates, but she's also in a class all her own. She's married to the busiest man in the world yet she still insists on being "Mom-in-Chief" first while also being a supportive wife and a role model for millions of working women. I can't say enough about Jeffrey Sachs. I've read some of his articles and can only describe him as one of the smartest men in the world. I seriously think that all world leaders need to have a summit where Jeffrey Sachs tells them how to handle their economies. In a world of spin and talking heads, Christiane Amanpour is one of the last true journalists who is willing to get into the middle of turmoil in order to get the story straight from the people who are telling them. Her global appeal makes the other side of the world seem a little bit closer and amplifies the voices of the people who may not have their stories told had it not been for her courage.

Entertainers: Julia Roberts, Coldplay, Jay Sean, Alicia Keys, Taylor Swift

I love being entertained, but I also admit that many of the actors, actresses and musicians out there are lacking in true talent. Fortunately, there are women like Julia Roberts who have remained true to her art. I'll never forget her rant in Mona Lisa Smile about "the roles that (women) were born to fill" as she flipped through slides of the "modern American woman." A lot of music today really sucks. (Why would I care about chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side?) But I love Coldplay. Who else can dream up lyrics like "Still my heart and hold my tongue" or "For some reason I can't explain, I know St. Peter won't call my name." Ultimately, the band has made people actually listen to the words in a song and not just bop their heads to the beat. And Jay Sean...he's so cute. But the point is that he's not just a talented artist. He's also a trailblazer, and he's showing the world that music really knows no boundaries for people who are truly passionate about it. Alicia Keys brings back the soul of a woman in tunes like Superwoman. But through her music, she also has good times with girlfriends who are there to comfort her through heartache. What mother wouldn't mind adding Taylor Swift to her daughter's ipod? Aside from being musically talented, Taylor Swift has what so many other young artists don't have: classic, wholesome values. I remember she once said "I don't rebel. If I want to rebel, I do it through my music." And who can argue with expressing oneself through music? As a person who believes that entertainment should have some kind of true artistic value to it, I sure can't.

My future husband

So I guess it's kinda impossible to invite someone that I don't know to a gala, but if we're talking about people who influence me, my future husband is one of them. True, I haven't met him yet, and I'm not even 100% sure that he even exists, but sometimes I find myself thinking about him and the life we would eventually share together. And if this gala actually did happen one day, I can't imagine wanting anyone else by my side.