If My Life Had a Soundtrack

I love the show Glee. I've only watched a few episodes, but I'm hooked and eagerly anticipating a new season of this deliciously addictive sitcom.


Whenever a great musical comes out, I find myself wishing that it were more socially acceptable to burst into song in the middle of the street...or in my case, the office...or the grocery store. More than once, I've wanted to just start spinning around at the park near my house and sing "The hillllllllllllls are alive with the sound of music!" I've also looked at my bills and the first few chords of "Rent" have begun to play in my mind. I've also thought "Beauty School Drop Out" upon seeing a woman clad in animal print leggings and overprocessed big hair. And I've imagined finding the perfect guy and recited "Love is a many splendoured thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you needs is love" in my head.

Life is a whole lot better when it's set to music, so here it is...my life set to a soundtrack:

The first time I heard Everything by Michael Buble, I decided that if my life were ever turned into a movie or a television series that it would be played during the opening credits. I can just imagine myself twirling around on the streets of some fictional city dotted with fruit stands and flower carts. I've got shopping bags in my hands and a sweet little trench coat on. I am, indeed, Everything. And as I'm getting ready for work, the song She Is by The Fray is blaring from my radio so that I'll feel confident and fresh for whatever the day has for me. I walk to the office wearing 3-inch heels to the tune of One Step at a Time Jordin Sparks.

On the weekends, I'll Be Lovin' You Long Time by Mariah Carey will be playing as I go shopping, watch college football, go out, and have girl talk with my besties and of course, I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew will be playing in the background as I spot the man of my dreams from across the room. (Seriously, could it have been anything else? Don't you remember the origin of this blog?)

And as Mr. Right and I skip through what I can only imagine will be an open meadow complete with daisies and butterflies, Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now by Joss Stone feat. Common will accompany our first kiss. For some time, we'll be that couple that everyone envies; that couple that everyone wants to be; that couple that makes everyone want to barf in their mouths just a little bit. But it won't last long because he'll cheat on me...not because he doesn't love me but because he's a little bit afraid of relationships and commitment. As he's trying to sort out his feelings, Nickelback's Far Away and Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You plays over and over again in his dark and twisty mind while he tries to be bright and shiny to his man friends who try to convince him to get over me.

Meanwhile, I'm pissed. While he's listening to songs like Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams and believe it or not, Taylor Swift's Teardrops on My Guitar, I'm listening to The M People's Moving on Up and Fiona Apple's Criminal not because I've done something wrong but because if I act on the anger building up inside me, I really will need a good defense. Then I switch it up to songs like Eminem's Lose Yourself and Eye of the Tiger while I shadowbox and run (a lot of running at this point) because frankly all I can think of is punching "Mr. She was there so was I and things just got carried away" square in the nose and working out is all that restrains me from actually doing so.

Switch back to Mr. Trying to Improve Himself who has decided that he'll do anything to get me back. After all, he's just heard Sofia Barbosa's Kissing You which he made fun of me for loving the first time we watched Romeo + Juliet together. That line about "watching stars without you, my soul cries" was clearly just too much, so he enlists the help of my best friend who turns out to be a fairy godmother of some sorts (for whom isn't so certain). She convinces him to stop moping, bathe, shave, get a hot new haircut (which I was never able to do, but whatever) and buy me flowers from an aforementioned flower cart...all to a few lines from Madonna's Dress You Up in My Love (because what's life without a Madonna song?)

By this time, I'm starting to miss him, too, but because I am Superwoman a la Alicia Keys I have too much pride to go back to him. And just when things look like they're not going to work between us, he shows up with his slick new style and a radio on his shoulder, throwing rocks at my window. He lays flowers down on the sidewalk and it turns out he's recruited some of his friends to treat me to a choreographed performance of Jay Sean's Do You Remember...because people dance when lives are set to soundtracks. I pretend to be embarrassed, but of course, I'm totally flattered. Who can say no to that? So of course, I rush down the stairs to accept his apology, and that's when our new anthem, Til Kingdom Come (did you really think I could have a soundtrack to my life without Coldplay?) plays in the closing credits.

And of course, there will be a sequel to this story, not because it doesn't end there, but because I couldn't fit my favorite--The Nearness of You by Norah Jones--in this time.

What would be on the soundtrack of your life?

Weirdest Dream Ever

Photo from www.Tessellations.org

So, I've had a lot of pretty crazy dreams, but I had a really weird one last night. First of all, I was married (yeah, already weird, right?) to a really successful architect, and we had a very happy life together. He designed beautiful buildings and homes and I was a happy, supportive wife.

I got called to do an interview with some popular architecture magazine, so the writer of the article came to my house while my husband was away on a business trip. My husband had designed a pretty sweet pile of bricks for us. And I'm pretty sure we were living in Miami because this house looked a lot like the ones on CSI:Miami. You know, the spacious ones with light-colored interior, big windows, fancy staircases and tiled floors.

But anyway, there I was, sitting in my gorgeous living room with a reporter from Architecture Magazine talking about my husband's designs. When asked to describe his architectural style, I said that it was "tessellation infused." I didn't know what "tessellation-infused" meant this morning when I woke up, so of course, I Googled it and found this website:

http://www.tessellations.org/

So it turns out that tessellations have something to do with art, and likely could be incorporated into architecture. This proves that I may be smarter in my dreams than I am in real life.

Back to the dream...I offered to show the reporter around so she could see examples of tessellations throughout the house, and I noticed that every time she walked into a room, she would flick her wrist like she was casting a spell.

I must have also had a baby because after the reporter left, I was in a nursery going through a laundry basket full of baby clothes. And then my husband called to see how the interview had gone.

I was walking out of the nursery door with the laundry basket in my hands and all of a sudden, I realized I couldn't move. After trying to explain to my husband that I couldn't move, he said, "Baby...if you can't move and your hands are on the laundry basket, who's holding the phone for you?"

That's when I screamed because I realized that clearly the reporter had haunted our beautiful home and a ghost was holding the phone up to my ear. And that's when I woke up.

Man, this would make an amazing movie...or a book! Didn't Stephanie Meyer dream up Twilight?

On Being a Lady

It's possible to be smart and beautiful.

A while back, I blogged about the Ten Things Every Woman Should Do. I still stick to what I said, but I've begun to think more and more that there is a clear difference between being a woman and being a lady. Being a woman is biological, but being a lady is behavioral.

Not too long ago, I was listening in on a conversation about girls today and how too often they feel like they have to dress provocatively, have perfect bodies and hair down to there in order to get a boy's attention. We can easily blame this on the boys who salivate at the low cut shirts and napkin-sized skirts. We can even blame it on the media which splashes impossible-to-achieve images of "beauty" on billboards and television screens. We can blame it on big businesses that believe that sex sells. But the truth is that "sex sells...if you buy it."

There's an awful lot of talk about feminism and the sexual revolution and women being able to take control of their own bodies. No need to limit yourself to one man, ladies. Be sexy! Date around! You're free! You're in charge of what you do to your body. But then again, how many times have I heard about women giving in to men and then complaining about men not calling or how difficult it is to please them once the spark is gone? How often do women cry when a man cheats on them with a hotter, younger woman? Once he leaves, who has the control then?

I'm sure that some women will come back and say that they can find another man once the flavor of the week leaves. But I say that the true control is in taking charge of yourself and not needing a man to fulfill you. That business of feminism and being in control of your body is true, just not in the way that it's most commonly portrayed. I think that women have more control when they assert their confidence in themselves inside and out. Women have more control when they spend their time the way they want to rather than waiting on a man to tell them what to read, what to watch, what to like and what to wear.

I hear statistics all the time about how the cosmetic industry is constantly growing and how more and more women are getting plastic surgery to change the way they look. Young girls aspire to be famous whether they have the talent to do something meaningful in the entertainment industry or not.

I'm not gonna lie. I like to look nice, too. I wear makeup and match my clothes. But despite that, I don't ever want to be known as being "sexy" or "hot." I'd rather be smart, classy, interesting, kind, generous. Being sexy is transient. Being clever will last however long you want it to last. I'm sure that there are girls out there shaking their heads now, saying that I'll never get a man if I'm not willing to show some skin, but really...if you're always out there showing skin, that's what the man's gonna get because frankly, that's all that he wants. But if you're able to carry a conversation and truly be caring and compassionate and a man sticks around, then he's tagged you not as the girl he wants to take home, but the girl he wants to take home to mom.

Gobble Gobble!

So it's Thanksgiving...my presentation may not be that great, but I sure did enjoy stuffing myself like a little turkey!

I only made the turkey breast because I only eat the white meat anyway. As I was making this, I kept on thinking about what Malia Obama said when her father pardoned the turkey, Courage. "It looks like a really big chicken." You can't tell in the picture, but it's actually stuffed with pistachios and different herbs.



Individual apple-zucchini stuffing servings....because everyone likes the crispy part the best! This way, everyone gets their own crispy bits.

Mashed potatoes and chipotle gravy...chipotle because I can't just make regular gravy. Gotta spice it up a bit!


The ever classic staple, green bean casserole, which despite that recipe on the Campbell's soup can, I refuse to make with canned beans. These were fresh!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a phyllo dough MASTER! These pumpkin tarts were delicious!

Thanksgiving may end at the close of the day, but be thankful for what you have everyday!

Twitter > Facebook.

It seems like everyone these days uses at least one social networking website. Many people use a combination of MySpace, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn (I'd like to merge them all into one and call it Link My Face You Twit...but that's another story) for professional networks, keeping in touch with friends or simply satisfying their own needs for attention. I've asked myself, "What's the big deal? Why can't people just call or visit each other anymore?

The answer is simple: Interaction via the internet is convenient, easy and dare I say it...just plain entertaining. MySpace is where you go when you want to promote your "talent" with a cheesy twinkling glittery background. YouTube is where you go when you want to post videos of your cat dancing the cha-cha while tapping out mariachi music on the piano with its tail (Ok...maybe a little exaggerated, but there's some weird stuff on YouTube). LinkedIn is where you go to post your resume and find your next job. I have a MySpace account that I never log into anymore. I've never had LinkedIn. And I only go to YouTube to find music videos, how to tutorials or clips of my favorite TV shows.

I've had a love-hate relationship with Facebook for about 3 years, and while I had fun for a while, I eventually got so annoyed that I started deleting friends who I never spoke to, who constantly talked about their drama, kept on posting annoying quizzes about what Twilight character they would be, who friended me because Facebook told them to or who friended me just so they could pump their own egos and say they had 1000+ Facebook friends. Then I started "hiding" activity that was clogging my NewsFeed. Did I really care about who you just friended or what events you'll be attending? NO! As Facebook started to decide for me what I wanted to know about my friends and post ads about meeting single men in my area, it became more and more unattractive.

I thought about deactivating my account but decided against it for the sake of a few people who I wanted to keep in touch with. Meanwhile, I had a few Twitter invites in my email inbox. I took a look and thought "Glorified Facebook status" and ignored them all. As Facebook became more and more annoying, I started to take a second look at the forum for 140 characters or less. I'm now proud to say that I'm beginning to favor it over Facebook.

Here's why:

1.) No more annoying friend suggestions, fan pages, groups or applications to approve or reject.

2.) If someone wants to follow you, they can. If you want to follow them, you can, but you're not required to. Twitter relationships don't have to be mutual.

3.) The possibility of Tyra Banks, Jay Sean, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres, Alicia Keys or even the President himself of ever communicating with me goes WAY up. You can't say that about Facebook.

4.) Practice in pith. Once you hit 140, that's it! Some people call it the death of the English language. I take it as a challenge to be more succinct...and to be clever with short quips about everyone else's Tweets.

5.) Trending topics. The ones on thinnest books ever written are hilarious.

6. It's so much easier to follow blogs that I like and find information that's relevant. The shorter entries are easy to filter through and I only click on links that I decide are interesting to me.

7.) SIMPLICITY. There are no profiles where you expose your favorite quotes, likes, dislikes, contact info, or birthday. Just brief pearls of information to get you thinking.

8.) No need to feel like I have to talk in 3rd person because my posts start with v55173w, not my real name. I still remember how much it hurt when status updates on Facebook automatically started with "is" and how annoyed I would get when I would see statuses like "Sue is I love to eat!"

I'm sure this list will continue to grow...or I'll be one of the 60% who leaves Twitter within a month. But so far, things are looking up.

The Importance of Investing in Youth

I think young people are fascinating. I think that I learn more from them than I do from most adults. I think that they need attention today more than ever. That's why I've dedicated so much of my life to making things better for them, and that's why I spend "free time" reading reports on the state of young people around the world, and that's why I drop what I'm doing every time I hear a television program about the plight of children.

Occupations that deal directly with the youngest members of our population aren't glamorous. Teachers are underpaid. Pediatricians are mocked for going into a "soft" sector of the medical profession. Involved with a non-profit that serves children? HA! Do you really think you can "make a difference?" Don't get me started on how underrated mothers and other childcare providers are...

In my line of work, I deal with children from age 3 to age 18. The three year olds are presumed to be spoiled brats who probably sit around watching Sesame Street all day. The elementary kids are out of control. The middle schoolers have too much attitude. The high schoolers are beyond being saved from a future littered with drugs, alcohol and promiscuity. Why do people look at our youth and assume hopelessness rather than envisioning opportunities?

I've seen a lot. I've seen pregnant teens who feel like they've lost their identity because of one mistake. They're merely looking to be accepted by someone without judgment. I've seen a girl who was running away from home and coming back high. She just wanted someone to talk to about how scared she was about trying to live a better life. I've seen kids shy away from their peers who assumed they were "weird." They were experiencing death of loved ones or other difficulties at home.

The point is that these kids weren't lost. They were HUNGRY for attention. They were HUNGRY for a mentor. They were HUNGRY for someone who would take the time and give them the respect that they deserved and the encouragement that they so desperately need. How heartless would we be if we passed by a child in need of food? How can we simply pass by a child who was in need of spiritual, mental or emotional nourishment?

The argument that it costs too many resources--time, money, energy--to invest in these little ones will always exist. But I ask, more importantly, what's the cost of not making that investment? What's the cost of not having a dedicated teacher in every classroom? What's the cost of not having counseling services for young people for whom everything is a crisis? What's the cost of not having productive after school programs that address the needs of young people? What's the cost of not developing a child physically, mentally, spiritually, creatively and emotionally? And is that an expense that we're willing to take on?

So again, I see 11 year olds who think they're 18. I see 18 year olds shouldering the burdens of keeping the house clean, making sure that dinner is on the table and taking care of younger siblings when all they really want is to make decent grades and go to the game on Friday. I see 8 year olds whose parents appease their needs with new toys and video games. It's easy to look at them and wonder "How can one person possibly make a difference?" Given the responsibility we have in shaping the next generation, I can't help but wonder "How can one person not?"

Open Letter to Representative Betty Brown

Dear Representative Betty Brown:

Recently you made a comment that “Asian-descent voters should adopt names that are easier for Americans to deal with.” This controversial comment has outraged the Texas Democratic Party, citizens of the state of Texas, the Asian American community and Americans of all races across the United States who put their faith in the legislators that they have elected to represent them.

It is clear that your comments are the result of a menace that has plagued generation upon generation of Americans: ignorance. Clearly, you have lacked interactions with Asian Americans, who take pride in the names their parents gave them. Clearly, you have no understanding of the thought and significance that go into these names. Clearly, you are disregarding the fact that the United States is comprised of diverse individuals with equally diverse cultures. But perhaps the most offensive component of this scenario is your refusal to offer an apology to the many Americans that you have offended.

Your refusal of an apology and defense of your remarks make me wonder—who will be next? What will follow? Will you also call for Latino Americans, African Americans and European Americans with uncommon names to change them as well to accommodate their peers? Was there a reason for singling out Asian Americans? When we’re left with a nation of John’s and Betty’s, will you then call for Americans to alter other aspects of their cultures? Their religion? The way they dress? How they celebrate holidays?

Representative Brown, you asked Organization of Chinese Americans member and activist Ramey Ko, “Can’t you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that’s easier for Americans to deal with?” I must ask YOU: “How will abandoning a part of you that you have had since birth make things easier?” What are we teaching people when we close our minds to who they truly are and ask them to do the same?

We have learned that in America, anything is possible if you are willing to work hard and dedicate yourself to a cause that you believe in. I believe that diversity makes us special. I believe that I can go to the polls with an uncommon name and be treated the same way as someone named Jane Smith. I even believe that no ignorant individual is beyond redemption…even you, Representative Brown. I urge you to use this unfortunate incident not only as an opportunity to reach out to the people you have offended, but also to educate yourself and others on the rich diversity of our great nation.

Regards,
Melissa Montenegro

It's Lonely on Top...

It's not easy being on top. With the power comes responsibility.

I've been thinking a lot about Barack Obama and the responsibilities that he has on his shoulders as President of the United States; the leader of the free world. Millions of people watched him take the oath of office. People around the world are placing their hope on his shoulders. It's got me wondering...how does he sleep at night? How does he get through his day with that kind of pressure?

I've held my share of leadership positions, and I've had my share of challenges while in those positions. I know that I can rely on people who I'm working with, and I know that they're responsible enough to take care of their responsibilities. But then again, when you're on the top of the human pyramid, there's nowhere to go but down. And if the people on the lower rungs don't pull their weight, the one on top falls the hardest. And everyone laughs at the person on top who comes tumbling to the ground.

10 Things Every Woman Should Do...

My favorite coffe table book, "Mother Daughter Sister Bride," is about women around the world and showcases the diversity of women while still maintaining that we have certain things in common, things that we should cherish as special.

As I read, I came to appreciate the different values and customs that women around the world have and traits that we share. Then I developed my own list things that I think all women should do:

1. Be able to cook one signature dish-If anything is truly universal, it's food. We all have to eat to survive, and communal activity is often over food and/or drink. While not all of us are meant to be Giada deLaurentiis, Paula Deen or Padma Lakshmi, I really think that every woman should have something in her repertoire that she can bring to dinner parties and potlucks. It doesn't have to be a perfect Beef Wellington...heck, it could be macaroni and cheese...just make sure it's really great macaroni and cheese.

2. Know how to dress yourself-Every woman should know her body well enough to know what it looks good in. If you're wearing makeup, know what your best colors are. Whether you look good in skirts and dresses, pants or t-shirts, wear them and wear them well. And to paraphrase fashionista Edith Head: "Your clothes should be tight enough to show that you'e a woman but loose enough to show that you're a lady."

3. Stop with the name-calling-You know, there was a time when men sang about wooing their darling angels. Now they sing about "knocking their bitches up." Half of this is their fault, but the other half is ours for accepting it. Stop using "bitch" "slut" and "ho" as terms of endearment for your girlfriends. Enough is enough!

4. Live alone-It's not so good to be alone all the time, but in the time that I've lived alone, I've learned more about myself than I ever have (particularly that I'm not meant to be alone for the rest of my life.) Living alone helps you to determine what you really want in life, how to manage your finances and how to appreciate both alone time and time with your peers.

5. Vote-I really don't care if you're Democrat or Republican; liberal or conservative; big government or limited government. In any case, you have opinions. Women before us fought for this right. They were imprisoned and brutally beaten so our voices can be heard. Use your voice...Just vote!

6. Be sensitive to your single girlfriends-She supported you as you made the transition from single to not single. She wore your choice of a bridesmaid dress when you got married. She bought you the diaper genie. She really is happy for you and your newly found love, but she's still single and she doesn't need to hear about your relationship bliss 24/7. She appreciates the fact that you invite her out with you and your significant other, but sometimes she gets tired of being the 3rd wheel and she misses you and those girls nights out!

7. Stop being fake.-If you don't like someone or something, don't pretend like you do. There's a way to be honest but tactful. I was sitting with some high school girls that I mentor, and we decided that truth is like a belt. With it you can feel secure, without it, you have to keep pulling up your pants. Who wants to have to watch what they say every time they open their mouths?

8. Take care of yourself.-As women, we tend to have this constant need to please and nurture others. This is great, but also go to your doctor checkups, perform breast exams, eat right, exercise and take time for yourself, too. Reserve time to do the things you enjoy. When you're at your best, you can take care of others much better.

9. Never stop learning.-We're not know-it-alls. If you think you do know it all, you should refer to #7 on this list. The more you know, the more you grow, so read books, talk to people, and perhaps the best piece of learning advice I've ever gotten: Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

10. Be a good role model-No matter where you go, someone is always watching. It may be a little sister, a co-worker or even just a random child. Carry yourself well and know that someone may be learning from you or wanting to be like you.

I usually like to make lists in 10's, but I couldn't resist one bonus item:

* Appreciate men for their efforts and what they do right.-This means that if he takes you out to dinner and wants to pick up the tab, let him. If he wants to open the door for you, let him do it without some snide comment about feminism and how you can open the door for yourself. When a man tells you you're beautiful, buys you a gift, leaves you a sweet note or just proves to you in any way that he is a man and not just a male, show your appreciation and tell him thank you.

I Dropped My Fork.

"I dropped my fork."

Those were the first words that came out of my mouth when I told my best girlfriend when I met a man who caught my eye.

I was enjoying a delicious lunch with some friends when it happened. He (let's call him Dreamboat) walked into the room and I swear I heard Cutting Crew's "I Just Died in your Arms Tonight" playing in the background. My eyes just followed him as he walked around and then finally took a seat.

I'm pretty sure that I gasped out loud. And then it happened. I dropped my fork. You can easily say, "So what...who cares?" But the truth is that I take mealtimes very seriously. I can't be bothered when I'm eating. I like to savor every little morsel that enters my mouth. If you bother me while I'm eating, you really should be careful...or else I might eat you!

At this point, I can barely remember what I was eating at that moment. All I could think of was, "Who is this beautiful creature and where did he come from?" No kidding, this man was gorgeous, and when I think of him now, I still hear 80's music.

I also think of later on when I had the chance to speak to him, but I couldn't think of anything meaningful to say. It reminded me of those awkward elevator scenes between Meredith and McDreamy (oh my gosh, Dreamboat is MY McDreamy!) on Grey's Anatomy. I would open my mouth but no words would come out. Or worse, I would open my mouth and some silly schoolgirl giggle would come out. No joke. The schoolgirl laugh came out of my mouth.

My world has been turned upside down. And no matter what happens now, I don't think I can forget that day when I dropped my fork.