12 Days of Christmas

12.13.10-12 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I spent $55 on shipping. I don't even care.

12.14.10-11 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I brought cards to all of my coworkers. In return, I got a martini glass filled with nuts, a book and a gift certificate for a pedicure and bottle of wine with my buddy. :-)

12.15.10-10 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I walked into an elementary school and saw a teacher with antlers on her head because it was "reindeer day." Then, I went over to the 4th grade hall and was informed that the paper chain links that were draped from the ceiling symbolized the cans of food that they had collected for the food bank.

12.16.10-9 Days 'Til Christmas
Today I got a holiday package from one of my most favorite people in the world. Inside was a bag of chocolate and an apron. :-D I also got warm socks, homemade jam and Dutch chocolate from a real Dutch person! I am truly blessed to be around such generous friends!

12.17.10-8 Days 'Til Christmas
Laundry Day! How excited am I about a trip to LALA Land? I hate to pack, but it reminds me that I'm going somewhere awesome to celebrate the holidays.

12.18.10-7 Days 'Til Christmas
In preparation for the holidays, I ate all of the truffles that a coworker made me. She's an expert at sweets, so of course they were delicious and wrapped beautifully. The only downside is that they go fast! So, I tried to make some truffles of my own. Unfortunately, I'm no expert like she is, and my concoction ended up more like chocolate mousse. Still delicious, but it's not quite the same!

12.19.10-6 Days 'Til Christmas
I can't say that today was a great day. I'm supposed to leave for LA, but instead I'm sitting trapped in the airport waiting to leave in the morning. Things had been going so well that I guess I was due for a down. I had boarded the plane and not even 20 minutes passed by before the pilot said that we would be unable to take off due to the weather. I understood. Safety first. But those 20 minutes were dreadful...not because of the anticipation of leaving or the discomfort of those little seats. The problem was these three males behind me. Not only were they loud and obnoxious, but they were also flipping through a magazine (which I didn't care to turn around to look at) and deciding which women they "would do." They also asserted "how lucky Hugh Heffner" is because he "gets to bang all those girls." Mind you, these guys couldn't have been older than 14, 15 or so. It made me sad to hear that trashy talk coming out of their mouths not only because it's degrading to women (and men, too) but also because that's the age group I work with. I hate to see the youth of today tarnished by such attitudes. Granted, they're probably the kids who need the most love and attention, so I guess that I've found what I need to add to my Christmas list this year.

12.20.10-5 Days 'Til Christmas
FINALLY got to my holiday destination! It's raining here, but I'll take water over frozen water for now.

12.21.10-4 Days 'Til Christmas
Wrapped presents. I don't know what it is, but I LOVE wrapping presents. I guess it's part of the process of giving that makes me happy. Or maybe it's just one of those things that reminds me of being in kindergarten--with all that cutting and taping and making things fit into the right boxes. Bonus points if I get to make the package look pretty with various random embellishments. I'm convinced that  sometimes the effort that you put into the wrapping is part of the present itself.

12.22.10-3 Days 'Til Christmas
Spent the day sick in bed. Too much holiday cheer? No way. There's no such thing.

12.23.10-2 Days 'Til Christmas
Last minute shopping. I went everywhere with big sister today. Best part was going to a Mexican superstore and hearing Spanish songs other than Feliz Navidad. :-D

12.24.10-1 Day Until Christmas
How awesome is it when you go to a Christmas party as the newbie and walk away with $10 playing silly Christmas games? I never knew that my word scrambling skills could be put to such good use when finding how many words can be made from the letters in the phrase "Merry Christmas"

12.25.10-MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Teenage Dream

Do you remember your teenage love? You know, the person that you were so sure you were going to be with forever even though you were a junior or senior in high school and realistically, marriage, was a good 5-10 years away.

I remember mine. I was 17 years old when I was so sure that something could happen between me and the star of our golf team (yes, I said GOLF TEAM--but before you make fun, remember that I'm from the golf mecca of the world). Of course, that didn't amount to anything, but I started thinking about him one day when I was listening to the radio and Katy Perry's Teenage Dream came on.




It made me wonder--why does pop culture (and society in general) refer to the teen years as the "glory years?" After the Katy Perry incident, I started thinking back to some of the other music on my ipod: Alicia Keys Teenage Love Affair and Tyga's First Tymers. How many times have you heard an adult who's in love say "I feel like a teenager again?" Is it simply that being a teenager reminds you of being young and fresh when everything was new and exciting? Maybe those feelings of excitement were the case for some people, but all I remember about being a teenage was awkwardness, self-doubt and naivete.

If I were to rewrite Katy Perry's song, I would include lines about zits, too heavy eyeshadow, ill-fitting clothing, and complete confusion. Sure teenage years are a great time to learn a lot of lessons, but for me, it was far from a dream.

To be honest, when it comes to relationships, I'm still learning. Sometimes it does feel like I'm back in high school where I didn't really know anything about love. But maybe THAT'S the dream. I've always touted the learning process, so maybe that's why this thing of relationships is believable as a dream. You keep on learning from the good relationships, no matter how awkward they may be.

Powerful Beyond Measure

This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time with some amazing teenage girls and young women. One of the most touching parts of the weekend was when we sat in a circle and identified two things that we loved about ourselves. The answers ranged from being able to make people laugh, making good grades and confidence to butts, freckles and legs. As each female gave her response, it was like a light was moving around the circle.

Still, as we went around the circle, one of the young adults said, "I like my body...and I feel bad about saying that, but I do. I really like my body."

It seems like that's a common reaction out in the real world. Why do women feel bad about celebrating our beauty? We call women bitches and snobs when they - even humbly - say that they feel beautiful. We're "haters" when we see other women accomplish great things. We allow jealousy, doubt and fear to eclipse our own greatness.

Don't we realize that we are all powerful beyond measure? Half of this world is held up by the hands of women! Our bodies have nourished mankind. We can push melons through an aperture that's the size of a pea! No man can do that.

I'm making a promise to myself: that I won't feel bad when I celebrate my belief I'm a good listener, gifted when it comes to working with youth, smart, and patient with everyone I come across. I'm determined to reach my dreams, and believe I'm worth people's time. On top of that, I like the way I smile, and I think my petite body, nose and ears are really cute...like really cute. :-)

When women recognize their captivating beauty both inside and out, men who doubt us don't stand a chance!

Real Women

One of the things that I love about my job is talking to the mothers of the children I work with and learning from their experiences.

One mother recently said, "I'm so glad that there are  young women working with the teens and middle schoolers here. I don't think young women and teenage girls realize that they have the power to set the tone in their relationships."

She went on to say that women, in the past few decades, have shaped themselves into empowered individuals who can live on their own but then they turn around and wonder why they "can't find any good men." She told me about a conversation she had with a a male friend of hers who had always been accustomed to holding doors open to women, but lately he's been standing at doors wondering "Should I open this door for her or will she think that I'm patronizing her because I think she can't open the door for herself?"

Have women emasculated men to the point where men don't know what their roles are in relationships? And with the surge of the "feminist movement," have women lost the sense of what femininity is?

I get lectures about how women didn't burn their bras so I could be complacent. But does it mean that I'm complacent if I let a man open a door for me or if I wouldn't want to have children without a man by my side? And does it mean that women who stay at home as a wives and mothers aren't feminists because they let their husbands be the primary breadwinners?

My opinions are summarized by scenes in Mona Lisa Smile, where Julia Roberts scolds her class at Wellesley as "the smartest women in the nation" who will use their physics degrees solely to make calculations on how to perfectly roast a chicken and Julia Stiles' retort later on that "being a wife and mother" is what she really wants.

It just brings up a lot of questions--what defines a modern woman and what role does a man play in a modern woman's life?

"Be a Leader."

As I grow older, I realize that there are going to be times when my personal conviction doesn't mesh with what everyone else expects from me. Pop culture tells us over and over again that we need to have a lot of money, look pretty and conform in order to be accepted. I want to be accepted, but I don't want to have to adopt criteria that someone else has drafted in order to gain a stamp of approval.


Yes, the refusal to do what everyone expects from me or what's popular makes life a lot more challenging to me, and it creates roadblocks towards what I want. And yes, I often contemplate whether or not I should give in, but then I'm inspired by the lives of people who chose to walk the path of resistance and somehow convince others to follow them.

I'm reminded of something that I say to the kids I work with. There are always those troublemakers who want to push buttons and test my limits. I used to use threats like "I'll call your mom" or "I know your father," and I realized that never worked. I looked more like a tattle-tale than an authority figure. It dawned on me that I wanted these kids to respect all authority figures, myself included, so rather than responding with "I'm telling,"  I started saying, "Be a leader." I was amazed at how they responded. They wanted to be responsible. They wanted an opportunity to show their peers how to act. They wanted an adult to place high expectations on them. They liked being at the front of the crowd--that's why they were asking for attention through acting up. Those troublemakers are the ones who CAN lead.

While the concept is different from expectations to conform, the mantra is just as powerful. When people expect one thing of you that you don't necessarily agree with, change the tide and "Be A Leader."

Sweet Melissa*

Back in the '70s, Greg Allman wrote the most amazing name song ever, making Melissa's everywhere proud to bear the name...Actually, I've read somewhere that Greg Allman wrote the song about his guitar, indicating that no matter how many women he came across, he always went back to his music.

To be honest, I hadn't heard the song before AT&T used it in one of their commercials, and even then, I had to turn up the volume and think to myself, "Are they singing about Sweet Melissa?" As popular as the name Melissa is, people still find ways to get it wrong when they're talking to me. In fact, I just got called "Michelle" today at work. (No offense to the Beatles, but I think I have a better name song.)

I've heard tons of things about people living up to their names. I'm not sure if that's always true, but I like to think that sometimes I live up to mine, which is derived from the Greek word for "honeybee."

Despite being difficult and imperfect, I've considered myself to be a nice girl. I've built my life on helping other people, and I can honestly say that it makes me happy to put other people before myself. Yes, it's inconvenient at times, and yes it can take up a lot of energy, but I do it anyway. I've been asked on numerous occasions why I'm nice to people and why I like to maintain friendships even after I've been hurt. For a while, I couldn't give a good answer, but it came to me today.

The one phrase that kept on going through my head was "What if one of us dies tomorrow?" As morbid as that sounds, you never know what tomorrow holds, and if someone is worth enough to fight with or argue with, or get upset with, that person isn't someone you want to live without. And if something were to happen, wouldn't you want that person to know that he or she meant something to you? Anger is inevitable, but holding a grudge is optional. Life's too short to hold grudges and be mean all the time.

I've always wanted to be a person who looks for the good in others and believes in dreams that no one else can see but me. Sure, these things may seem completely  hopeless, but I search for them anyway because I believe they're out there. Besides, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't sweet. I wouldn't be me if I didn't believe in dreams.

A friend of mine recently wrote about unconditional love and questioned if it even existed. I was quick to say that of course it existed. Subsequent responses said that unconditional love is "messy, amazing, miraculous, but at the same time with all the potential to cause borderline trauma when it goes wrong. I think we all agree that unconditional love exists and as humans we seek, crave, give in, and at times probably resent it." It's all true. Love, in any of its forms, can be excruciating because it is the highest form of giving of oneself. When it doesn't work out, you can give up and say "What's the use?" I know it's a question that I have asked frequently and have come up with the same answer every time: Sure it's painful when it doesn't work out, but it feels amazing when it does.

And I have to ask myself over and over again, what good comes out of grudges and staying angry? After all the anger has been brushed away and in some cases, washed away by tears, it's so refreshing to just Measure in Love

*I really don't know why I titled this Sweet Melissa. It sounded like a good idea at the beginning. Now it just seems egotistical. Oops.

Just Throw it in the Bag

Pretty much every female I know carries a purse with her. I recently made fun of one of my male friends for carrying what I described a "man purse" and he insisted was a "travel carryall for his food." I've also had male friends ask me, "What is the deal with girls and bags? What do they have in there?" Many men say that purses are unnecessary and full of junk...but then they ask if they can stick their wallets and cell phones in there.

So, I've decided to empty out my purse and give you all a glimpse of what's inside.

 

1. Rosary-I always have a rosary in my purse, partially because it gives me comfort when I pray and partially because my mother would whoop me if she found out I didn't have one in there.
2. Eyeglass case-Because I can only work for so long before my eyes get sore and I need to put my glasses on

3. Fan-Yes, a fan. People make fun of this until we're outside or in an area with no air-conditioning. I whip this out and ask, "Who's laughing now?"

4. Business Cards and coupons-These are other people's business cards and coupons to Bath and Body Works. I keep these in an outer pocket so I can access them easily.
5. Speech-This is my speech from this past weekend. I don't think I really referred to it, which is why it's rolled up the way it is. I've noticed that I roll paper up a lot...I don't know why.
6. Letter-A letter from a friend that I always keep in my bag. Similar to the rosary, it gives me comfort knowing it's always with me.
7. Notebook-Because I never know when ideas for my great novel are going to come.
8. Sunglasses-Sometimes I like to put these on and pretend like I'm fly.
9. Keys-So I can get into places
10. Lotion-The soap in the  bathroom at work dries my skin out like mad. Since not washing my hands isn't an option, I always have lotion on hand. Gotta keep my hands nice and soft....and scented. :-)

11. Chapstick-'Cause everyone likes soft lips.

12. Business Cards-These are my business cards. I think I should start giving some out.
13. Coupons-These include coupons for milkshakes and slushies at the local burger joint.
14. Work Keys-Only I know what's in the secret closets.
15. Pens-I always like to keep two because I like symmetry...and because people borrow and then don't return them.
16. Wallet-I wouldn't be able to get anywhere without it...but I do think it's about time for a new one.
17. Jewelry-I have this because I always bring this bag with me when I travel. I stick some of my jewelry into this little pink bag and put it in my big bag to bring on the plane with me rather than putting it in my carry-on. Funny things can happen in those overhead bins.
18. iPod-My iTouch houses my to-do lists, shopping lists and important contacts. Plus, if I did'nt have this baby with me, there would be no chance of anyone ever walking into my office and catching me singing along to some Madonna.

Aisha

Every so often, the news media are the news makers. That's the case this week as Time Magazine has printed a controversial cover of an Afghan woman, Aisha. The photo depicts the 18-year old woman whose nose and ears were cut off by the Taliban for running away from abusive in-laws.

Time Magazine's editor, Richard Stengel addressed the decision to publish the photo in an interview with Katie Couric and in the issue itself. He says that he understands that some children may see the photo and be frightened and some adults will be disturbed by it, too. Others may think that using this photo as the cover will be nothing more than politicizing a serious issue and exploiting the innocent victims of war and oppression. But the point was to start a conversation on what the role of the United States and its allies should be. More importantly, should any type of deal be struck with the Taliban in reshaping the country's future?

While I completely support and am grateful for the brave men and women who protect the lives of civilians, war always puts a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not sure that armed conflict is the way to solve any crises. I favor diplomacy, and above all, I favor education.

I hear numbers tossed around all the time about how many children we could educate if we had spent money on books instead of guns. I think about how many lives could literally and figuratively have been saved by building schools instead of sending children to military camps. And I wonder what could happen to a generation of young girls if the boys they were growing up with were given a good education instead of feeling as if they have to join a dangerous regime in order to help their families get by. And what would happen if women were able to teach their young girls about self-confidence, worth and the importance of educating themselves.

I can't say that Aisha is anything less than an extraordinarily brave woman. She ran when she had to, and still she prevails to be the face for women who are calling out for something better than what they have, something that they deserve not just because they've been in a horrible situation but because they are women who deserve dignity and respect not only from the people who live in their country but from everyone who is willing to listen to their story.

I wish that I had more eloquent words for Aisha, but in this case, I think that a photo is indeed worth a thousand words.

Plain Jane

Plain Jane. Girl Next Door. They pretty much mean the same thing. It's that girl that you're friends with but don't necessarily drool over. You're comfortable with Plain Jane. You hang out with her, go to the mall, watch movies together. But she's not the hottie you talk to with your buddies if you're a guy or the girl you secretly envy if you're a girl.


I've plugged myself into the category of this "Girl Next Door" type, so when CW came out with a show called Plain Jane with the premise of making over an ordinary girl so that she can tell her crush about her feelings for him, I couldn't help but watch.

To make a long story short, the girl Cristen had a crush on her guy friend Ty for six years but was always considered to be just a friend and "one of the guys." Enter beautiful woman with a British accent for the role of "fairy godmother" who critiques Cristen's "Plain Jane" ways from her clothing to her bedding and even takes Cristen to a burlesque club. After asking Cristen about her thoughts on the performance, Cristen says "Well, that's nice...for her." She is then instructed to make up her own burlesque routine to help build confidence and learn how to be sexy. One of my favorite parts of the show came when the pair was shopping for new clothes and the Plain Jane said "Can't you celebrate curves under a sweatshirt?"

Truthfully, I kept on asking myself..."Why should she have to change for this man like this? Won't he be falling for the made up version of this girl and not the person she is inside?" Don't get me wrong. I totally believe in dressing up every now and then, playing with my hair and experimenting with makeup to look pretty for the right man. But I would also want him to fall in love with me for the person I am inside, not the magic I can do with a flatiron and makeup brushes. My heart sunk a little bit when Cristen looked in the mirror and said "Wow...I don't look like myself." The thing is, I thought she was so cute even before the transformation.

Granted, she got the guy in the end and they stuck together. But I have to wonder...what will he think when he sees what she went through to get his attention? Will he be impressed? Flattered? A little creeped out? Who knows?

In my case, I just want to know that I won't have to pull out the glittery eyeshadow and high heels to keep a man happy. And I would want him to know that when the makeup comes off, I'm still the same Melissa that he was attracted to in the beginning.

And the big question remains the same:  Will there ever be a Plain Joe show where men are made over so they can reveal their feelings for a girl? Or is it just girls who need to change their image to reel in the guys they want?

I Hate Cliches

As a reader and a writer, I get bothered by phrases that I hear so much that they lose their meaning. Words like random, epic, fail, and whatnot are like nails on a chalkboard to me when people use them over and over again in everyday conversation. Here are some phrases that do the same:

1.) What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.-People who tell you this can't think of anything better to say when you've reached rock bottom and are being kicked by everyone around you. I believe that there's a purpose to pain. Sometimes it is to make you a stronger person, but more often than not it's there to warn you from doing that thing that caused the pain in the first place. And what if you don't intend to get stronger? Sometimes it's okay to just be hurt and expect nothing from the pain aside from sheer misery.

2.) Distance makes the heart grow fonder-Whoever said (and firmly believes in it) this has never been in a position where he has been separated from people he hates. Sure, I get warm fuzzies when I see people I love after a long separation, but being separated from people I can't stand is a big bowl of cherries with whipped cream on top.

3.) Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, at least you'll be among the stars.-I'm all for being optimistic and dreaming big, but this is pretty much bull. Shoot for the moon and all you end up with is sore arms and the unfortunate experience of landing in the cow paddy that you didn't notice because you were shooting at something unattainable.

4.) If at first you don't succeed, try try again and its mischievous cousin If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you've tried.-Glass half full people believe in the former. Glass half empty people believe in the latter.

5.) If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back, he's yours to keep-Someone has never been in love before. I've thought that if you truly love someone, you hold on tight. It's like fishing. Once you get that beautiful fish on your line, why let it go? OK--bad analogy, but why let go of something beautiful?

Is there some truth to these quotes? Maybe. But they still irk me. Maybe it's because I value creativity and originality. Maybe it's because they don't usually go my way or I hear them after some horrible failure. In any case, I figure there's a better way to say all of the things above.

Books vs. Movies

When my friends rave about the latest movie they've seen, 70% of the time, I respond by saying, "I haven't seen the movie, but I read the book...and it was FABULOUS!"

The movie, Eat, Pray, Love caught my eye because I love Julia Roberts, and am tempted to watch the movie despite not being very fond of Elizabeth Gilbert's book. (But can I tell you about how jealous I am that Gilbert gets to have a superstar like Julia Roberts play her in the movie?!?)

The thing is that I typically love books more than movies because I feel like my imagination is much more vibrant than what directors and producers put up on the screen. Lord of the Rings is the perfect example. Now, I'm not one to argue with the expertise with the likes of Peter Jackson, but the way I envisioned the Fellowship returning the ring was a lot more dramatic. It's easy to say that it had to be more dramatic in my mind because the scene in the book took up one measly paragraph, but there's just something about being able to create something in your mind while you're reading a book.

And is it me, or is the talent in Hollywood a little bland when it comes to them playing your favorite characters from books? Now, I love Kal Penn for his activism, but he just didn't do Jhumpa Lahiri's Gogol Ganguli any justice. He had the chance to be a three dimensional character struggling between two cultures, but instead he was a scowling kid who turned out to be, quite frankly, a little annoying. How can I relate to a character like that?

But then again, this is why I'm toying with watching Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love. Maybe she can give hope to the lost art of translating what's on the page to something meaningful on the screen.

Toddler Toolbox

There are certain things that people need as children in order to be happy, productive adults. After all, I believe that most adults are just bigger versions of who they were at the age of five. Why do you think that the most successful people (like Bill Gates) often boast about having a great father who was there for him and gave him boundaries while most of the prison population had some kind of traumatic experiences in their early years?

So, here I go...Things that I believe every little one should have:

1.) An imagination-Kids won't be able to have everything they won't. It's not economically possible, but if they have a good imagination, at least they can pretend they have everything! They can also pretend that they're slaying dragons, sailing to Neverneverland or if they turn out to be like me, that they had an imaginary duck friend that tried to steal their favorite blanket. (And you wonder why I'm the way I am now)

2.) Books!-I honestly believe that children who read are a million times smarter, more disciplined and more likely to be ready and willing to learn both in and outside of the classroom. It's a true bonus when parents are willing to read to their kids in different characters' voices. And plus, books fuel #1!

3.) Healthy food-How do you expect kids to be able to slay dragons and chase imaginary ducks if they're living on Oreos and Ding Dongs? A healthy diet is important and doesn't have to be boring.

4.) Positive mentors-The first of such role models are, of course, the parents. But I believe that kids need an even bigger supporting cast including older siblings, teachers, aunts, uncles. It really does take a village. Kids (actually all people) are seeking validation, and if they don't find it from a positive mentor, they will find it out on the streets.

5.) Understanding parents-I firmly believe that half of the fun of being a toddler is playing with a mom and dad who aren't uptight about matching clothes all the time, don't mind building forts out of the sofa cushions (and any other cushion in the house), support running through sprinklers and understand that your first birthday cake is all about eating with your hands.

I've heard statistics that children's most formative time is during the first five years of their lives. During that time, they should be allowed some freedom to play, imagine and be cared for by people who really love them. They should have everything they need but not necessarily everything they want.

$17 Penalty

My 10-year high school reunion is coming up. It costs $50 for singles and $75 for couples. I feel like couples are getting a buy one ticket, get the second half off deal and I feel like I'm being fined $12 for being single.

Has anyone else ever noticed that it's always cheaper for a couple to get into events? But isn't it easier to entertain one person than two?

As I get older, I've started to feel like all the privileges are for couples. How much have I spent on engagement, wedding, baby, and anniversary gifts for my married/engaged/pregnant friends? And how many excuses have I gotten from my my married/engaged/pregnant friends who can't come out on my birthday because they have to tend to their spouse/fiancee/child?

Maybe it's time to consider the singles out there.

Or maybe I'm just bitter.

Nails on a Chalkboard

Do you have any pet peeves? I sure do:

1.) "But um"-I hate it when people say "but um." I never noticed it before the How I Met Your Mother episode with the Robin Scherbatsky Drinking Game, but "but um" is one of the most annoying space occupiers in the entire English language. Actually, I wouldn't even call it English. That phrase had to have originated somewhere in Stupidville.

2.) Dislike!-I can't tell you how many people comment on Facebook with one word that I am banning from my vocabulary. Why do people comment on Facebook photos, statuses, links, etc with "dislike?" Facebook will never provide a "dislike" button. Get over it.

3.) Black pants, black shoes, white socks-You're not Michael Jackson. Put some black socks on.

4.) Import models-The only models I believe in are fashion models who wear birdcages in European fashion shows. Import models are one step away from being porn stars. They look like trash.

5.) Cracked spines, dogeared pages and torn covers on MY books-If you want to stay on my good side, do not mess with my books and do not mess with my bookcase. I have a shovel.

6.) Misuse and overuse of the words "irony," "whatnot," and "random" and the phrase "it is what it is"-Broaden your vocabulary. And if you don't know the meaning of a word, don't attempt to integrate it into your vernacular.

7.) Adults who talk like babies to...other adults-Don't talk to me like I'm six. And ladies don't talk to your boyfriend like he's six. Gentlemen, don't talk to your ladies like they're six.

8.) Pouty faces in pictures-Don't pout in pictures. You look like crap and it makes me want to give you something to pout about.

9.) People who think Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama because she can shoot a gun and "speaks from her heart."-Please. Give me a break. According to her logic, I'm qualified to put out fires because I live across the street from the fire station.

10.) Designer Knockoffs-Did you know that poor little kids in third world countries make your fake Louis Vuittons? Fake fashion is never in style.

That is all.

I Picked Up My Pen

It's been about a year and a half since I started with this blog, and just for fun I decided to read over some of my earlier posts. Then I realized that my inaugural post, I Dropped My Fork doesn't even apply anymore because that so-called "Dreamboat" has sailed away...and now there are so many things that I can't stand about him. Funny how things can change in one year. Still, I have to admit that my world is still pretty upside-down.

In the 18 months since I started this blog, I've had numerous conversations about relationships, and I recently told someone that I really want to end up with a man who I can potentially learn from every day. The reaction: "Wow...that's a pretty high expectation." I never thought it was, but that response made me sit and think about whether or not trying to learn something from someone else is realistic at all. And it made me wonder, too, "Are my expectations too high? Is it even possible to learn something new everyday?"

I've always had a passion for learning and I've always thought that it was important to surround myself with people who challenge me and the way that I think. But now I wonder...is it even possible? So I'm starting an experiment that I'll be documenting on a new blog: The Eternal Classroom. In the Eternal Classroom, I'll be documenting the new somethings I learn each day. Stay tuned. So here I go...I'm picking up my pen, and I'm ready to learn.

THAT Teacher

I was recently inspired by this entry from 1000 Awesome Things and started to think about the teachers who will be closing up their classroom doors at the end of the school year. Then I started thinking about all the teachers I've had who have shaped my life in one way or another.

Mrs. Remington-my preschool teacher who reinforced my love of books and used to give the whole class books every holiday.

Mrs. Lana Murphy-my 4th grade teacher who yelled at the class for misbehaving during a tornado drill because she didn't want us to get hurt during a dangerous situation because "she loved us."

Mrs. Roberta Wallis-my fifth grade teacher who gave me my first B and then said "Don't settle for mediocrity. Be the best that you can be."

Mrs. Christi Pace-my seventh grade English teacher who would peek over my shoulder at the "freestyle writing" that I would engage in after turning in my assignments. She helped me win my very first short story competition.

Dr. Mary Riser, my high school AP Biology teacher who showed me that science just worked. I remember when she comforted me after coming into class upset over something another teacher had said to me.

Ms. Lizbeth Wheeler, my high school history teacher whose casual approach to teaching made history interesting and accessible.

Dr. Kendra King-my first Political Science professor at UGA who inspired me to make the leap from Pre-Pharmacy to Political Science.

Professor Reginald McKnight-a creative writing professor who urged us to just call him "Reg" and once wrote on one of my papers "You are a minor goddess of writing. Make flesh from pen and paper."

And of course, I could never forget Dr. Timothy Powell, the founder of Multicultural Studies at UGA, and the man who I consider to be the best teacher I've ever had. I took two of his classes, where he urged his students not only to think outside of the box but to live outside of it. This is the educator who encouraged us to read books that made us uncomfortable, to think of culture beyond racial and ethnic diversity and to use anything and everything - advertisements, music videos, even architecture for our papers as references. One of the best papers I've ever written (which I still have!) was based on advertisements and pictures I had collected from periodicals right after 9/11. I also structured one of my papers to be a conversation between two beavers in one of his classes-how's that for thinking outside of the box?

How many doctors, lawyers, accountants, bankers, can you name who have truly impacted your life in such an unforgettable manner? Yet I'm certain that everyone can name at least one extraordinary educator.

These days I go into schools and see this dynamic relationship between student and teaccher happening over and overa gain. And I ask myself What is it that makes an outstanding teacher? And the answer is always the same: The best teachers are willing to do whatever it takes to make their classrooms the optimal learning environments because above all they believe that the students are the number one priority.

Blast from the Past

I was cleaning out my room today and came across some pretty interesting things: old pictures, my baby blanket, clothes I regret ever buying and wearing, mementos that I'm sure were supposed to go into a scrapbook. But the most interesting thing that I found was a stack of old journals. I was too embarrassed to read through some of the entries containing hopeless romantic poetry and rants and raves about this crush or that failed friendship that jogged my memory and brought me back to times when I was most vulnerable and naive. But there were a others that just they sent me back into some of my earlier days:

From 07.17.97
My brother, Moe, left for Thailand almost two weeks ago. He'll probably be there for about three years, and I miss him already. I still remember the day at the airport. We left the house early in the morning. It was hard for all of us to let Moe go, especially considering he won't be home for three years.

Thirteen years later, Moe is still in Thailand, happier than ever. I miss him a lot, but I know that he's incredibly happy with his life there, and if he hadn't made that move, Git, Sam and Rae wouldn't be in our lives today.

From 01.12.98
Today I went to the movies with Charlotte to see Titanic. It was really good, and I think that it's one of my favorite movies. I cried a lot. It made me think about love. Now I have a much better perspective on love. I look at it and wonder why some people can look at it and see it as anything less than beautiful.

Ugh...Can I please tell you about how much I hate the movie Titanic now? Aside from the beautiful dresses that Kate Winslet wore, I can't really bare to watch it. And while I still believe that love is a beautiful thing, I can't believe how sappy I was at the ripe age of 16!

From 10.01.00
I decided to download AOL Instant Messenger today, and I do think that it's proven to be a good decision. I spent a couple of hours talking to Cody. He's still the same old Cody-crazy guy.

I don't know what's more shocking--that there was a time when computers weren't preloaded with AIM or that I don't remember why I would have spent hours talking to a guy named Cody.

From 10.09.00
It seems like it's been forever since I've written in my journal, but in reality, it's only been three days. There's so much I have to say. First of all, I had a ball at the Georgia-Tennessee game, my first college football game. We won 21-10, and I'm so sure that seeing the goalposts come down and all those fans on the field is a once in a lifetime experience. It was awesome and I'm sure that I won't forget it.

True. I haven't forgotten that game. I wore jeans and a red sweater. I remember asking my RA what I should wear, and she said "just don't wear orange." I later walked down to Sanford Stadium with a girl from my hall that I barely knew, but it didn't matter because once we got to the stands, it really was like we were all one big Bulldog Nation. After we won, a bunch of the students, myself NOT included, rushed the field. It turned out that a female Asian student was sent to the hospital with some injuries as she made her way to the field, and it made the national news. The following day I got a phone call from my older brother to make sure that it wasn't me.

From 11.18.00
It finally happened. I crossed into Delta Phi Lambda. It was such an awesome ceremony. I've learned so much about patience, tolerance, humility, respect and sisterhood. Delta Phi Lambda is all about letting others know that there's always someone to help them - whether it be in the sorority or in the community.

Man, it's crazy how something can mean the world to you at one moment in time. Regardless of how things turn out in the end, you always treasure those bits of beauty where you feel like you're on top of the world. I still remember that that's how I felt when I finally got my hands on those letters!

From 11.21.00
I went to Westside to visit the yearbook staff with Nicole today. When Charlotte came over last night, we talked about how it was possible to feel uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable in high school. I guess some things never change, huh? This is exactly why I don't intend to go to my ten year reunion.

From 01.01.01
It's a new year. I know that I've changed a lot in the past year. Charlotte says I'm more confident and more sure of myself. I think that I owe that in part to going off to college.

Maybe it really is where I "found myself"

From 12.13.03
In seven days I will close one chapter of my life that has lasted for three and a half years as I graduate from the University of Georgia. In seven days, I will embark on a new journey filled with hope that I am equipped with the tools necessary to fulfill whatever it is that God has in store for me. And I do believe that it is something very exciting that will make me happy. What I'm not so sure about is what I am going to leave behind here. I'll miss my girls a lot. And I definitely feel like I've learned more about myself and life in general this semester. Among these essentials are how to be a true leader, how to stand up for myself, the importance of family, responsibility and honesty. I truly feel like I have made this semester worth every minute, and I have absolutely no regrets about anything I have said or done.

No lie. This entry almost made me cry. I remember sitting at UGA's Herty Field writing this. I really miss North Campus!

From 01.01.04
I have been a UGA Alumna for twelve days now, and I think that it still hasn't fully sunk in. It was a really good ceremony, and the speakers were really good, too. Dr. Eve Trout-Powell was our keynote speaker. I remember having her husband, Dr. Timothy Powell as a teacher, and I was so excited about having his wife speak, especially considering that she recently received the MacArthur Grant, which is also known as "the genius award." What I will take from her speech is how to "increase your peripheral vision" and to not stop growing and learning from my experiences and from others. There are a lot of different sides to things, and It is important to look at all of them while also remaining true to yourself."

I still believe these things. There's a reason why Dr. Eve Trout-Powell got that genius award, and there's a reason why I still identify Dr. Timothy Powell as "that teacher" who inspired me more than any other.

Among these entries were so many others that forced me to reflect back on where I was when I wrote them. It's amazing to see progress and to see how far I've come. But so many of those entries also remind me that I also have a long way to go. I had a habit of listing goals, and upon reviewing them, I've found that some of them no longer apply while some of them just need a little more rejuvenation. I guess that maybe that's why we keep journals--to record meaningful memories and to remind the present self of where the past self expected us to be.

True Beauty

I caught a few snippets of the 2010 Miss USA Pageant, and I noticed something. The two hosts identified these 51 gorgeous women by the states they represented. So, I can't even tell you the name of the woman who was crowned at the end. I can only refer to her as "Michigan." She wasn't even Miss Michigan. She was just "Michigan."

I'm sure that "Michgan," will now be known as "USA," (and maybe then "Universe") but I can't help but wonder how much it sucks to be addressed not by your name, but by the entity that you represent. Then it got me thinking about labels. Just as Michigan wore (literally) the label of her state, many of our outer attributes label us.

Just recently I was placed in a position where I was able to interact with many people, and before I got to speak to them and learn their names and parts of their personal stories, I referred to them by what they looked like. So, I could say I spent the weekend with "plaid shirt girl," "blue-eyed couple," "linebacker" and an assortment of other characters who I labeled based on their attire or physical features. But as I actually got to know these people, I was able to remove those labels and replace them with actual identities.

On the flip side, I recently scanned the magazine covers at the grocery store and noticed that Jessica Simpson decided to go makeup-less on the cover of Marie Claire and many other celebrities including Kim Kardashian and the women of The Today Show decided to challenge themselves and go on the job without makeup. In doing so, they took off their labels that say they have to be airbrushed, and look good all the time and they looked like real people rather than just the images that are plastered across TV screens and billboards.

All this makes me realize that you can't judge people by what they look like on the outside, especially if you don't know who they truly are on the inside. But when you're willing to peel back those labels, you can find something that is truly beautiful. And in regards to my own experiences, I've decided that it's not wise to judge a person from a mile away until I've walked that mile with them. If I can actually do that, it will truly be beautiful.

My Most Influential

I'm obsessed with Time Magazine's annual list of the Most Influential People. It's interesting to me to see who is considered influential enough to make the list. A lot of the choices are obvious-global statesmen, popular entertainers, and of course, Oprah Winfrey has made the list every year since it's been published.

But what is it that makes people influential to the everyday person? Aside from close family and friends, what is it that makes a person look at someone else and say "He/She has mattered in my life."

Apparently Time Magazine also hosts a gala for the 100 Most Influential. If given the chance, these are the people I would want to invite to a gala and honor as my most influential.

Education Reformers: Wendy Kopp, Steve Perry, Arne Duncan and Geoffrey Canada

First and foremost are the Education Reformers. I firmly believe that an education is the best gift that you can give anyone and that when given an education, children can break their way through any obstacle. Wendy Kopp, founder and CEO of Teach for American dedicates her life to closing the achievement gap. Steve Perry challenges students from low income neighborhoods to push themselves towards excellence at Capital Prep where 100% of students not only graduate but also go on to 4-year colleges and universities. Arne Duncan has urged American school districts to be creative in combating low graduation rates and underperforming schools. Geoffrey Canada has revolutionized education in Harlem through the Harlem Children's Zone by recognizing that it's not just the teachers in the classroom who are responsible for the development of our youth. Without people such as Wendy Kopp, Steve Perry, Arne Duncan and Geoffrey Canada, American education could easily go down the drain, but with their effort and the efforts of those who are motivated by them, American children are ready to soar.

Leaders: Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, Representative John Lewis, Nelson Mandela

I once read that after the deaths of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert Kennedy in the 60s, that "The willingness to follow and believe the (leaders) who stand before us has never been regained. We will never be able to love our leaders like that again..." I don't think anyone can ever compare to MLK Jr. or the Kennedys, but we've reached an era where we can find some leaders who are worthy of being followed and loved. Queen Rania's efforts to educate children, especially young girls is particularly fitting for a woman of her status. And I love how she describes herself as "a mum and a wife with a really cool day job." You can't get any realer than that. In considering great leaders, you cannot overlook John Lewis. During his inauguration, President Barack Obama passed a note to John Lewis that said "Because of you, John." John Lewis was prepared for the persecution that he met in hundreds of sit-ins, and had it not been for his leadership back then in the civil rights movement and his leadership in Congress now, we wouldn't enjoy so many of the rights we have today. Like John Lewis, Nelson Mandela has been a beacon of light for those who have been seen as "lesser humans." When John Lewis stood up at his trial and said, "I have fought against black domination. I have fought against white domination. It is a cause for which, if need be, I am prepared to die." It makes me wonder...what causes would our generation be willing to die for?

Thinkers: Melinda Gates, Michelle Obama, Jeffrey Sachs, Christiane Amanpour

In a world of mediocrity, it's refreshing to have people who are willing to think outside of the box. I can't even put myself in Melinda French Gates's shoes. She was brilliant on her own and then she went on to marry one of the most successful businessmen ever. Along with her husband, she developed the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which changed the lives of millions of people worldwide. She is a visionary. Michelle Obama is in the Amazing Wives Club along with Melinda Gates, but she's also in a class all her own. She's married to the busiest man in the world yet she still insists on being "Mom-in-Chief" first while also being a supportive wife and a role model for millions of working women. I can't say enough about Jeffrey Sachs. I've read some of his articles and can only describe him as one of the smartest men in the world. I seriously think that all world leaders need to have a summit where Jeffrey Sachs tells them how to handle their economies. In a world of spin and talking heads, Christiane Amanpour is one of the last true journalists who is willing to get into the middle of turmoil in order to get the story straight from the people who are telling them. Her global appeal makes the other side of the world seem a little bit closer and amplifies the voices of the people who may not have their stories told had it not been for her courage.

Entertainers: Julia Roberts, Coldplay, Jay Sean, Alicia Keys, Taylor Swift

I love being entertained, but I also admit that many of the actors, actresses and musicians out there are lacking in true talent. Fortunately, there are women like Julia Roberts who have remained true to her art. I'll never forget her rant in Mona Lisa Smile about "the roles that (women) were born to fill" as she flipped through slides of the "modern American woman." A lot of music today really sucks. (Why would I care about chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side?) But I love Coldplay. Who else can dream up lyrics like "Still my heart and hold my tongue" or "For some reason I can't explain, I know St. Peter won't call my name." Ultimately, the band has made people actually listen to the words in a song and not just bop their heads to the beat. And Jay Sean...he's so cute. But the point is that he's not just a talented artist. He's also a trailblazer, and he's showing the world that music really knows no boundaries for people who are truly passionate about it. Alicia Keys brings back the soul of a woman in tunes like Superwoman. But through her music, she also has good times with girlfriends who are there to comfort her through heartache. What mother wouldn't mind adding Taylor Swift to her daughter's ipod? Aside from being musically talented, Taylor Swift has what so many other young artists don't have: classic, wholesome values. I remember she once said "I don't rebel. If I want to rebel, I do it through my music." And who can argue with expressing oneself through music? As a person who believes that entertainment should have some kind of true artistic value to it, I sure can't.

My future husband

So I guess it's kinda impossible to invite someone that I don't know to a gala, but if we're talking about people who influence me, my future husband is one of them. True, I haven't met him yet, and I'm not even 100% sure that he even exists, but sometimes I find myself thinking about him and the life we would eventually share together. And if this gala actually did happen one day, I can't imagine wanting anyone else by my side.

On Immigration

The Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer recently signed a bill stating that will require police to ask people about immigration status if they suspect they here illegally. Failure to carry immigration documents would be a crime. Supporters of the bill claim that Arizona will "just be enforcing the law" and that "all civil liberties will be protected." Opponents have called it an open invitation for harassment and discrimination against Hispanics regardless of their citizenship status. The Governor herself even said she "would not tolerate any racial profiling."

But I have to wonder...who will be targeted in this new law? What will lead police to suspect that an individual is an illegal immigrant?

Proponents of the law cite the murder of a rancher Rob Krentz, who was believed to be shot by an illegal immigrant connected to a Mexican drug cartel. The sponsor of the bill, Representative Russell Pearce showed his support for the bill by saying, "Illegal is illegal. We'll have less crime. We'll have lower taxes. We'll have safer neighborhoods. We'll have shorter lines in the emergency rooms. We'll have smaller classrooms."

I believe that the murder of Rob Krentz was a tragedy, but I also believe that it was the result, not of illegal immigrant behavior, but because of the behavior of a person lacking a moral compass. When the police in Arizona are occupied tracking the actions of those who may or may not be here illegally, I have to wonder, who will be taking care of the real criminals with depravity, greed and hatred in their hearts?

All of this, of course, brings up the argument that illegal immigrants are a burden on the American society who take jobs away from hard working Americans and that they cause a rise in criminal activity. But chew on these facts from Justice for Immigrants:

Immigrants pay between $90-140 billion a year in federal, state and local taxes. However, the amount of public benefits that they use amounts to only about $5 billion.

Immigrant entrepreneurs create job opportunities for US and foreign workers. For instance, companies in Silicon Valley started by Chinese and Indian immigrants generated more than 73,000 jobs in 2000.

Immigrants take jobs in many parts of the US economy and can contribute up to $500 billion towards the US Social Security system.

Aside from these facts, many immigrants also take low-skilled, low-paying manual labor jobs that many Americans won't take.

Those who believe that Arizona's new law won't lead to any kind of racial profiling are sorely mistaken. Again, I have to question, what does an illegal immigrant even look like? Do I look like an illegal immigrant? Does my blond haired blue eyed friend look like an illegal immigrant? And if the two of us were walking around the city of Tucson, which one of us is more likely to be suspected of being here illegally? If I don't want to be bothered, should I dye my hair blond, pop in some blue contact lenses and lighten my skin? And while I'm at it, should I stop speaking any language other than English, refrain from buying ethnic cuisine and remove the Filipino flag that I now proudly display in my home? I guess I should also buy a flag pin while I'm at it.

Hundreds of years ago, the Statue of Liberty welcomed immigrants to the United States with the promise of a better life and endless opportunities for those who were willing to work hard. Flash-forward to 2010 and they are now greeted by law enforcement officials and demands to prove that they belong here. Thanks a lot Arizona.

How to Treat a Gentleman***

I was recently talking to a male friend about relationships. Somehow we got into a discussion about books on relationships, and I pointed out that many of the books giving out relationship advice focus on men and how to treat women. I got to wondering, "Where are the books about how to treat men?"

So here it is...v55173w presents...How to Treat a Gentleman

1.) Let him be a gentleman. I consider myself to be a feminist, but I also consider myself to be feminine. I'll leave it up to the men to be masculine. If a man ever shows you in any way that he is a gentleman, let him do it. Don't tell him "I can open the door/pull out my chair/take off my jacket all by myself" when he offers to do these things for you. And when it comes time to pay the check at dinner, don't assume that he's going to pay for it, but if he puts his card down, let him. It's fine to offer to pay your piece or help out with the tip, but if he insists on paying, let him do it 'cause you know that if he lets you pay the first thing you're gonna do is go home and whine to your girlfriends that he's a cheapskate who didn't pay for your plate of rabbit food. And to be honest, I think that when you play the "let me pay" game too much, it hurts his manhood.

2.) Give him a day off from the need to embody effortless perfection-Women have it hard with the images of size -5 women with doctorate degrees from Harvard, perfect birthing hips, millions in her bank account, and the ability to have a freshly made homecooked organic meal on the table each night. Despite these unrealistic, unattainable gender roles, I'm not sure women often pause and think about the unrealistic images that men face. It can't be easy to be 6' plus, have that Ivy League degree, money in the bank, nice muscles, a flashy car, the ability to provide for a perfect family, pick up flowers on the way from home AND help old ladies across the street all at the same time. True gentlemen really are good at heart, but if they slip every now and then, give them a break.

3.) Let him know that he's better than the thugs and meatheads.-I've never been the type to be attracted to the bad boy or anyone from the cast of Jersey Shore (Give me a suit and tie over gelled hair and a leather jacket any day!), so I've never really understand why the nice guys feel the need to be "the bad boy" or to live on the edge in order to get a woman's attention. Then I looked around at some of the most attractive women I know, and they go for the bad boys because they're looking for adventure or they're attracted to the men who take risks. These guys usually end up breaking hearts and the nice guy is the one who picks up the pieces. Ladies, stop going after the bad boys. Stick with the sweetheart that's going to be there for you no matter what, and let him know that he's worth it.

4.) Be grateful and sharing is caring.-Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before that it's the job of the man to buy the chocolates, champagne and flowers on Valentines Day/anniversaries/birthdays/Christmas/Groundhogs Day. It's chivalry, and it's how men are supposed to prove that they're romantic and not just a bag of bones. But danggit, be grateful! Don't return the heart-shaped box and say "Get me something better." If you have a man that's willing to spoil you with gifts on special occasions, don't tell him to upgrade those gifts if they're not exactly what you wanted. And when you crack open the bottle of bubbly, pour a glass for him, and let him have first pick at the box of chocolates.

5.) Take advice from him and let him win when he's right.-Yes, sometimes he knows better than you do and is right. 'Nuff said.

6.) Give him space to breathe-Together time is great, but you know how you feel when you've been wearing those really cute 4-inch heels that look great and give you confidence but hurt really bad if you wear them for way too long? Don't be those shoes to a gentleman. Sometimes he needs to get away to have a beer and watch the playoffs without you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore or that he's more dedicated to the can of Bud or the ballgame. It just means he needs some alone time and when he returns to you, it will feel like the first day you did the sign and swipe and made that pretty pair of heels your own.

7.) Occasionally, revert to the old-timer hunter-gatherer roles.-Tarzan=hunter. Jane=gatherer. It's in men's nature to want to hunt and chase. If everything they want is right there, they've got nothing left to do and they get bored. BUT they'll chase if they see something (or someone) they want and they'll find it more rewarding when they get it (or her). It works both ways--when a man is allowed to chase a woman, she knows he's interested because he keeps up with the pursuit. But don't be too coy. The way I put it is that you let a man chase you, but leave breadcrumbs so he knows he's going in the right direction!

8. When you get a good one, don't let him get away.-Can't get any clearer than that.

***Disclaimer-I'm a single lady, so if the above are ineffective, don't blame me. I really don't know what I'm talking about.

Two More Important Words

Why are they so hard to say? And when they are said, why are they followed by conciliatory remarks that are meant to appease the person saying them? (Ex: I'm sorry YOU feel hurt by what I said/did.)

I'm sure it's tied to pride and not wanting to admit wrongdoing, but sometimes I'm Sorry can erase some of the most painful scars.

Two Important Words

The closest thing I will ever have to an ego wall

I've become fond of saying that writing actual letters and putting them in the mailbox is a lost art. Modern technology has advanced speedy forms of communication such as phone calls, text messages, email, tweets and wall posts. While I'm grateful for these ways to keep in touch, I still believe that a tangible handwritten letter or card is the most valuable form of communication.

Some of my most favorite correspondences are Thank You cards. I keep a lot of them, no matter how small or large, simply because they remind me that at some point, someone was grateful for me or for something I did.

I've noticed that when I walk into some people's offices, they display their degrees or other tokens of recognition or accomplishment. These "ego walls" are meant to boost the honoree's self esteem or to prove to those visiting their offices that they're walked into the presence of greatness. While I have proudly displayed my Diploma from the University of Georgia (on my bedroom wall), I can't say it's what boosts my self esteem. What reminds me of my own worth are the letters from kids thanking me for spending time with them, cards thanking me for being a good friend or notes from colleagues thanking me for sacrificing time and sharing energy to advance certain projects. They mean a lot.

It's easy to neglect those two words that are not used enough. You never know what a person is going through at any moment in time, but the words "Thank You," when used sincerely, can never hurt. And it doesn't hurt to also mention what it is that you're thankful for.

Measure in Love

I have been reading John Lewis's memoir, Walking with the Wind, and he describes an incident where young children were marching for equality and were attacked by policemen with water hoses. Months afterwards, the chief of police who was authorized attack was hospitalized. Right outside were those children with signs that read "Get well soon."

While hiding out in her father's office building in Amsterdam during World War II, Anne Frank kept a diary that has become a widely read personal account. One of the lines read "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

I recently spoke with someone who I love and admire very much. She talked about her son and how he would do the right thing even if it meant that he would suffer negative consequences because of it. Her son was once caught for doing something wrong. His friends ran away in order to avoid punishment, but he stayed to help a little brother of one of his friends. The little brother had tripped and fallen, and because he stopped to help he got caught while the others got away. All this at the age of thirteen. This little boy grew up to be someone who would always put others before himself, often sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of people he barely even knew.

How can it be that people face difficult circumstances and still emerge with love in their hearts?

The answer is clear: They have to choose to do so.

Sadly, I look around and see how often people choose to do the opposite. They choose to be vengeful. They choose to be spiteful. They choose to hold grudges. They choose to make assumptions. It's cyclical. When they treat people that way, their targets grant them the same treatment.

Why do we focus on the negative things people do and then hold those things against them? Why do we always think that we've got all the answers and never consider the feelings of others?

I know it's possible because it's been done before but why is it so hard for us to simply Measure in Love?

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.-Romans 12:21