60 Day Challenge Day 10: Songs you listen to when you’re upset.

Music is by far the best medicine when you're feeling Down. There's just something special about being able to Lose Yourself in the beats or in the sweet voice of your favorite artist.When I've had one of those Bad Days where all I want is someone to Stand By Me, I can put on my headphones and the music effortlessly says "I'll Stand by You."  Of course there are a few tunes I'm not sure I'll like as much tomorrow (will I still be making up my own dances to Jai Ho 10 years from now?) because not Everything can be a classic. Regardless, there's just something about music that can turn a bad day into one of the Best Days.

I think this was a pretty clever post what could have been an ordinary list, but I may just need someone to Humble Me. I can't help it...that's just The Way I Am.

60 Day Challenge: Day 9: Talk about something that confuses you.

Top 5 Things that Confuse Me:

5. Why is it ok for someone to come up to me and tell me "You're so skinny" but it's not ok for me to go up to someone and say "You're so fat."

4. Trashbags--why do people buy trashbags when you can reuse plastic grocery bags for free?

3. Why do people wear their shoes at home but take them off in public places? Your home is supposed to be clean. You don't know what kinds of germs are hanging around in the gym, the club, the sidewalk...Put your shoes on!

2.WHY do people purposely use poor grammar? I'm looking at you, residents of Southern states...Why in the world would you say about your baby, "Hims is so cute today!" Hims is also on the road to make a 200 on his SAT.

1. In reference to relationships, why don't we just stick to checking yes or no on a "Do you like me" note passed from a boy to a girl (or vice versa)? When did all the coy game-playing come around? And WHY? Relationships used to be much easier as kids...why complicate them as adults?

60 Day Challenge: Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

For me, goals are always easy to set but a challenge to complete. There have been so many times when I've made a to-do list that just sits with only half of the things checked off, but here are 5 that I think I can accomplish by the end of the month:

1. Read three books
2. Buy a meal for a stranger.
3. Figure out what I want to do for the Christmas holiday
4. Buy and send 3 "just because" cards via postal mail
5. Get a haircut!

Hold me accountable!

60 Day Challenge: Day 7: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

You let me down.

I wish I could say you know who you are when I say you've disappointed me. But I'm sure that you don't.

What you did and what you said really made me doubt how good you are. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of people admire you. I admired you. Now I'm not so sure.

You try to keep what you've done hidden. I don't know why. Is it because you think hiding what you've done will make it go away? Is it because you don't think it was wrong? Is it because you don't want people to look see that maybe you're not as great as they think you are?

You've given me a burden that I don't care to shoulder. Where's the greatness in that?

I hope deep down I'll find a way to get over it. I hope that I'll find a way to tell you what I'm thinking now. I hope I'll find a way to tell you that you've disappointed me because I expected you to be better.

For now I'll carry this burden knowing that you don't deserve the relief I'm providing by doing so.

60 Day Challenge: Day 6: The reason you believe you’re happy.

I don't think I would have been able to post this blog post a couple of months ago, primarily because I wasn't convinced that I was happy. But I am.

Here's why:

For the longest time, I never wanted to stick up for myself when I was criticized and I never felt the need to be the center of attention, and I believed that this was because I thought I had really low self esteem and practically zero self confidence.

I told a couple of friends and this is what they told me:

My best friend, Pam, said "You're fabulous. It's ok for you to celebrate that. It's when you feel the need to invite other people to the party* that you become egotistical. You're not like that. You celebrate yourself and you're humble."

Another friend of mine said, "The reason why you don't stick up for yourself and the reason why you have no need to seek attention is because you already know you're great. You don't have to prove it to anyone. You don't have to be critical of anyone else because you feel no need to pull anyone else down."

I can't say enough how much those two comments meant to me. Learning how to accept the way that others positively perceive me has made me more perceptive to others. I've learned how to accept their love and have learned how to better give love in return. This has made me happy.

*In sharing this, I am not inviting anyone to this party of self-celebration. I'm just telling my readers about the gala.

60 Day Challenge: Day 5: Talk about a scary experience.

 

When I first got my own room, a simple clock radio sat on my dresser. I used it solely as a timepiece. In the middle of the night, I would often open one eye to see the fluorescent numbers that told me it was too early to get up.

One night, I was awakened by the sound of static...really loud static. I got up and turned it off. I returned to my bed and pulled the sheets over my head, hoping it wouldn't happen again. Ten minutes later, it came on again. I was terrified. Actually, terrified doesn't do justice to the fear that I experienced. I was so scared I ran to my sister's room down the hall in tears. I stayed there until the morning.

In hindsight, it was really stupid to be afraid of an alarm clock, but of course, it was more than just the alarm clock. I had watched some TV show about ghosts not long before that night, and there were cases where ghosts would haunt houses and move things around. In one case, a house was set on fire. I guess that I was convinced that there was some supernatural power in my room that night. But in reality, the alarm was just put on inadvertently and in the process, the volume was turned up.

While I laugh now, I still have a slight aversion to alarm clocks and refuse to use them.

60 Day Challenge: Day 4: What makes you different from everyone else?

What makes me different from everyone else?

I remember being asked this question when I was in college and I responded, "I wear kids clothes." Unfortunately, I found out that other college women wear kids clothes (because they're cheaper; they fit better, and often enough you can find stuff that doesn't look like it's fit for a five-year old. Thank you Gap Jeans!)

So I guess begin petite doesn't apply anymore.

I will say, however, that I'm a good listener. I may not be able to give good advice, but if you need a sounding board, I'm pretty good at being that.

But really, how do I honestly answer this question without sounding egotistical?

60-Day Challenge: Day 3: Something you wish you did a long time ago.

I never got involved with sports as a kid. I wish I had.

After school when my friends would go off to soccer, baseball or volleyball practice, I went home and did homework. After I finished my homework, I read books. I was never really into a whole lot of physical activity, and although I consider myself to be pretty healthy now, I feel like my well being has been hurt by not getting involved with sports.

People talk about how much sports, aside from assisting in physical health, help build self-esteem, create a sense of unity with a team and develop discipline. Admittedly, I find myself lacking in some of those areas. I don't always believe in myself. I can be a bit of a loner who works better alone than as part of a team. If something persistently irks me, I'm likely to give up on it rather than continue to determinedly pursue it.

Aside from all that, I just think that being a part of an athletic team gives you something to be proud of, a feeling of accomplishment. I feel like that's something I've missed out on.

60 Day Challenge: Day 2: Your top six favorite songs.

Norah Jones-The Nearness of You
The Nearness of You has been covered numerous times, but it's magical coming out of Norah Jones. I was flipping through the channels at one point, and it was on a movie (can't even remember the movie now). Miss Norah Jones herself was sitting at a piano singing this song, and I loved it. Every time I've heard it since then, I can't help but think "I'm going to dance to this song at my wedding." Really--can you imagine loving someone so much that being near that person is enough?



U2 feat. Mary J. Blige -One
Love conquers all. We really do have to carry each other.



Shakira-Suerte Yeeaaahhhh! I love Shakira--I feel like we're kindred spirits because we're both petite (Who else can pull off lyrics that when loosely translated mean "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains?") And plus, this version appeals more to me than the English version, Whenever, Wherever




Coldplay-Til Kingdom Come
I love the acoustics. I love the lyrics. I love the vocals.  It's just beautiful.



Nancy Sinatra-Bang Bang
I love a song that tells a story, and really no one can do it better than a classic voice like Nancy Sinatra.

So I know I'm supposed to post 6 songs, but I've decided that when it comes to blogging, the rules don't really apply to me. And plus, I reserve the 6th song that I happen to like now but may not like later. The five above are pretty much stable.

60 Day Challenge-Day 1:Twenty five facts about yourself.

Anyone every heard of the 60 day challenge? 60 blogs with 60 pre-selected topics.

I've decided to accept it.

Day 1: 25 Facts about yourself.

This feels like a Facebook note, but here goes:

1. I have four stations on Pandora: Glee Radio, Top 40, Classical and 80s Pop
2. I only shop for underwear twice a year: during the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual sales.
3. I am convinced that if I were ever on a game show, especially Wheel of Fortune, I'd kick butt. I don't understand why people buy vowels. They're a complete waste of money!
4. I love putting nuts in my food...Cashews in stir frys, pecans in yogurt, walnuts in salads, peanuts in ice cream...
5. I hate wearing shorts. Skirts and dresses just make more sense to me.
6. I collect rosaries, and I always have at least one in my purse.
7. TV show marathons are my Achilles heel. If I start watching one episode, I end up watching all day. That's why it's better to stay away from the TV.
8. I don't drink pop.
9. I call carbonated beverages pop. Probably a product of living in the Northwest.
10. I think that the edges of baked food are the best part....I am notorious for stealing the corners of lasagna, brownies and casseroles.
11. If I end up marrying a man with a boring last name, I'm hyphenating my last name. It's hard to downgrade from a last name like Montenegro
12. I seriously think that I have amazing initials. You can't beat MM. It's alliterative. It gives you the license to give m&m's out with gifts. It's shared with important people like Masaharu Morimoto and Marshall Mathers.
13. I love Febreeze products
14. When I eat hamburgers or sandwiches, I like to eat the edges first and work my way in so that the last bite has everything in it. I hate it when the last bite is just bread.
15. I know you're not supposed to judge books by their covers, but I do judge people by what's on their bookcases.
16. My "ego wall" consists of cards, letters and notes that I've gotten throughout the years...they all have the same two words on them: "thank you"
17. My three favorite body parts are my nose, my ears, and my collarbone.
18. I love heels...A part of me believes that if you don't feel like you're about to break your ankles when you first put them on, they're not high enough.
19. I'm convinced that my kids will only need 3 toys: a basic stuffed animal, a case of legos and one other toy of their choosing. The rest of their playthings will be cardboard boxes, pots and pans, the sofa cushions, newspapers and bed sheets. They are also welcome to as many books as they like...except for Twilight books. Those will be banned.
20. I love cardigan sweaters. My style is like that of a librarian...or Emma Pillsbury
21. I try my best to eat healthy foods, but I am a sucker for really saucy chicken wings...and candy.
22. I keep my liquids (hand sanitizer, toothpaste--yes I carry toothpaste in my purse--and lotion) in my purse in a plastic bag. Thanks for that tip, TSA!
23. I have a corkscrew on the bookcase in my bedroom. See #15
24. Scarves. I love scarves....knitted, woven, silk, long, short, solid-colored, patterned...I love them all..If you ever want to give me a gift, give me a scarf...or a book!
25. When I travel, I don't care much about shopping. I just like to see places and take lots of pictures.

25 Days, No Facebook

 

I gave up Facebook for Lent.

I figured that I spend too much time on it and decided that for 40 days, I would stay away from it.

Has it been hard? Of course it has. 

Life just isn't the same when you can't poke your friends or like the fact that some distant friend from high school "just got out of a speeding ticket by offering to buy the cop a coffee at Starbucks lol."

Still, here's what I've learned about my social networking habits so far:

1.) People who have something interesting or significant to say will tell me via text, email, phone or my favorite--Hallmark card. :-)
I'm thrilled that I haven't been left out of big news like engagements, new babies and professional developments just because I'm abstaining from Facebook. Fortunately, I've been kept in the loop by people who care to inform me of these milestones.

2.) It also works the other way around. 

I call, text, or email people who I actually care to update about my oh so exciting life. (I guess I can also add blogging to that list.)

3.) I only remember important people's birthdays when I don't have Facebook to remind me.
In the time I've been away from Facebook, I think I've sent birthday greetings to two people. To everyone else--my bad.

4.) I'm really not missing much.

I feel no void because I'm staying away from Facebook. Do I miss seeing pictures? Yes. But I'm also pretty sure that the ones that people use to update their bbm profile pictures aren't so different from the ones they're putting on Facebook. They're just smaller. Besides, I've just realized that most of the people I'm friends with on Facebook are periphery friends. The ones who matter most are the ones who, like I said, still email, call, text...

5.) I spend way too much time on Facebook.

Now that I'm not on the site, I realize how much more time I have to do other things...like email, call, text...Aside from that, I'm almost almost at the halfway point of my New Years Resolution.

And plus, there's nothing quite like being able to see people in person. Facebook may have the power to bring people together, but it also tempts them to stay apart...

Maybe this giving up Facebook thing isn't such a bad idea. I wonder if anyone has even realized I've been gone...

Choose Your Own Adventure

When I was a kid, I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure books.

I remember going to the school library with my class and rushing to the bookshelf in the front corner of the room to see if there were any new books in the series. I would be disappointed when I would find that they had all been checked out. There was just something about being able to play a part in the characters' journeys. Even more than that, I liked being able to go back and see where the alternate option would take me.

I recently reread Robert Frost's ubiquitous poem The Road Not Taken. I reflected on it for a while--where the narrator discerns which way he should go, where he expresses some regret of not selecting one path over the other, and where he reaches some level of resolution on selecting a road less traveled.

The poem isn't really so different from those books of my childhood, and it's not really different from the situations of my adulthood. I've always been happiest when I've had the freedom to make my own decisions, but I also have to wonder--when you've chosen one path, is it possible to turn around and choose another adventure?

Books!

By the way, if anyone knows of where I can get a library like this, give me a call...I'm just a Belle looking for her Beast.

So, I set a goal to read at least 50 books in 2011.

Here's my progress:

Currently Reading:
Vanity Fair-William Makepeace Thackery
God of Small Things-Arundhati Roy


Completed Reading:
Waiting for Superman: How We Can Save America's Failing Public Schools
Letters to God-Patrick Doughtie and John Perry
Five Point Someone-Chetan Bhagat
The Great Gatsby-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Little Bee-Chris Cleave
The Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins
Paradise Lost-John Milton
Parent Fuel-Barry St. Clair
Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman-Haruki Murakami
The Alchemist-Paulo Coelho
Atonement-Ian McEwan
Catching Fire-Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay-Suzanne Collins
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets-JK Rowling
The Screwtape Letters-CS Lewis
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince-JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-JK Rowling
The Five Love Languages-Gary Chapman
Room-Emma Donoghue
Rediscover Catholicism-Matthew Kelly
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian-Sherman Alexie
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo-Stieg Larsson
The Girl who Played with Fire-Stieg Larsson
Blue Like Jazz-Donald Miller

Just Doing My Job

Last week I had an evaluation at my job. It was positive, and my boss told me that I've done exceptionally well, that the quality of my work was "above and beyond." I told her that I didn't see myself that way. I just saw my performance as "doing my job...accomplishing what I was hired to do."

I share this anecdote today in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr., not because I compare myself to him or because I feel I'm obliged to post something on a day that celebrates his accomplishments but because it makes me wonder what would happen if everyone just "did their job" in a way that was perceived by others as "above and beyond."

Some of the leaders who inspire me the most weren't looking for recognition. Mohandas K. Gandhi was a model of humility. Nelson Mandela once appeared on Oprah and asked "What's the subject of today's show?" not realizing that his story was more than enough to fill 60 minutes. Blessed Mother Teresa never brought light to herself and instead claimed that "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, who could probably opt to have a lush life of luxury and indulgence says she has "a really cool day job" and fights for education and equality. Modern day education reformers say that what they do isn't for themselves but "for the children."

They're all people who believe in a sense of community. They fight against what Bobby Kennedy so eloquently called "The Mindless Menace of Violence" that plagues our nation and creates second class citizens. And they don't do it for their own sake. They do it for everyone else.

I believe that's the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. His message was one of equality and justice, but it was also a message of looking out for one another and seeing yourself in your neighbor. He believed in a world where people believed in the dignity of every human being, and he didn't it without looking for recognition. In fact, he did it knowing that his ideas were revolutionary. Perhaps most importantly, he did it because he knew it was the right thing and the moral thing to do. I don't know if I take on the same attitude with my work when I say I'm "just doing my job," but I like to think that somehow I'm echoing the work ethic of all these great leaders when I walk into the office every day. Imagine what would happen if we all did that.

Biggest Lessons of 2010

I've never been big on writing an end of the year blog post because I don't believe in using new years as landmarks to change your life. I always say "Why wait until January 1 to make your life better? Only yesterday is guaranteed."

Still, given everything that has happened to me in these past 12 months, I can't help but recall some of the things I've learned.

1. I don't care about who gets the credit, but I do care when people take credit for something they didn't do.
I've heard time after time that "you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe that there's a lot of truth to that statement, and I try to accept it. When I'm in group situations and trying to solve a problem, I really don't care if I make the breakthrough and don't get recognition for it because as long as the solution is effective, I feel accomplished. BUT I've been in a few situations where I've worked my butt off to do something and someone else has gotten and accepted the credit. It REALLY bugged me. Sure people can tell me to be more gracious and less bothered by this, but I've decided I'm only human and I'm allowed to be peeved by people who get praised for cake that they didn't bake.

2. People who befriend you as a result of tragic situations can turn out to be friends for life.
Sometimes life is rough and throws some nasty things at you.The only thing that gets you through it is the people around you. I've been dealt some tough blows, but in 2010 I learned that despite that, people are still willing to be generous and kind despite all those scars. When people befriend you while you're at rock bottom, they know how to take care of you in bad times. And they're the ones you want by your side when it's time to celebrate the good times.

3. Sometimes taking the longer route isn't a bad idea. And sometimes the longer route is more scenic.
Once you hit a certain age (say 25), your peers start to place expectations on you: You should be married. You should know the direction that your career is going to take. Your bank account should be steady and stable. This year, I've learned that those expectations don't matter, and the notion that people who don't follow them are worthless is a lie. Sure it's important to have goals and to plan accordingly, but you don't have to take the shortest route between point A and point B. In fact, just like when you're taking a road trip, when you take the longer, more scenic route, you learn more and see a lot of beautiful things along the way.

4. People surprise you when allow them to show you who they are.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. I've learned that this isn't necessarily true. First impressions are important, but they don't have to be what defines a person. This year, I've learned that people aren't always who I expect them to be. Some have turned out better than I expected, and others have been worse than I originally thought. The point is that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.

5. I'm worth it.
Never again will I allow someone else to tell me that I'm not brilliant, talented, gorgeous or fabulous. Nor will I allow people to tell me that believing that I am all these things makes me unworthy of getting what I want or deserve.

I hope that I can put all these lessons into action in 2011.