Last week I had an evaluation at my job. It was positive, and my boss told me that I've done exceptionally well, that the quality of my work was "above and beyond." I told her that I didn't see myself that way. I just saw my performance as "doing my job...accomplishing what I was hired to do."
I share this anecdote today in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr., not because I compare myself to him or because I feel I'm obliged to post something on a day that celebrates his accomplishments but because it makes me wonder what would happen if everyone just "did their job" in a way that was perceived by others as "above and beyond."
Some of the leaders who inspire me the most weren't looking for recognition. Mohandas K. Gandhi was a model of humility. Nelson Mandela once appeared on Oprah and asked "What's the subject of today's show?" not realizing that his story was more than enough to fill 60 minutes. Blessed Mother Teresa never brought light to herself and instead claimed that "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Her Majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, who could probably opt to have a lush life of luxury and indulgence says she has "a really cool day job" and fights for education and equality. Modern day education reformers say that what they do isn't for themselves but "for the children."
They're all people who believe in a sense of community. They fight against what Bobby Kennedy so eloquently called "The Mindless Menace of Violence" that plagues our nation and creates second class citizens. And they don't do it for their own sake. They do it for everyone else.
I believe that's the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. His message was one of equality and justice, but it was also a message of looking out for one another and seeing yourself in your neighbor. He believed in a world where people believed in the dignity of every human being, and he didn't it without looking for recognition. In fact, he did it knowing that his ideas were revolutionary. Perhaps most importantly, he did it because he knew it was the right thing and the moral thing to do. I don't know if I take on the same attitude with my work when I say I'm "just doing my job," but I like to think that somehow I'm echoing the work ethic of all these great leaders when I walk into the office every day. Imagine what would happen if we all did that.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Biggest Lessons of 2010
I've never been big on writing an end of the year blog post because I don't believe in using new years as landmarks to change your life. I always say "Why wait until January 1 to make your life better? Only yesterday is guaranteed."
Still, given everything that has happened to me in these past 12 months, I can't help but recall some of the things I've learned.
1. I don't care about who gets the credit, but I do care when people take credit for something they didn't do.
I've heard time after time that "you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe that there's a lot of truth to that statement, and I try to accept it. When I'm in group situations and trying to solve a problem, I really don't care if I make the breakthrough and don't get recognition for it because as long as the solution is effective, I feel accomplished. BUT I've been in a few situations where I've worked my butt off to do something and someone else has gotten and accepted the credit. It REALLY bugged me. Sure people can tell me to be more gracious and less bothered by this, but I've decided I'm only human and I'm allowed to be peeved by people who get praised for cake that they didn't bake.
2. People who befriend you as a result of tragic situations can turn out to be friends for life.
Sometimes life is rough and throws some nasty things at you.The only thing that gets you through it is the people around you. I've been dealt some tough blows, but in 2010 I learned that despite that, people are still willing to be generous and kind despite all those scars. When people befriend you while you're at rock bottom, they know how to take care of you in bad times. And they're the ones you want by your side when it's time to celebrate the good times.
3. Sometimes taking the longer route isn't a bad idea. And sometimes the longer route is more scenic.
Once you hit a certain age (say 25), your peers start to place expectations on you: You should be married. You should know the direction that your career is going to take. Your bank account should be steady and stable. This year, I've learned that those expectations don't matter, and the notion that people who don't follow them are worthless is a lie. Sure it's important to have goals and to plan accordingly, but you don't have to take the shortest route between point A and point B. In fact, just like when you're taking a road trip, when you take the longer, more scenic route, you learn more and see a lot of beautiful things along the way.
4. People surprise you when allow them to show you who they are.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. I've learned that this isn't necessarily true. First impressions are important, but they don't have to be what defines a person. This year, I've learned that people aren't always who I expect them to be. Some have turned out better than I expected, and others have been worse than I originally thought. The point is that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.
5. I'm worth it.
Never again will I allow someone else to tell me that I'm not brilliant, talented, gorgeous or fabulous. Nor will I allow people to tell me that believing that I am all these things makes me unworthy of getting what I want or deserve.
I hope that I can put all these lessons into action in 2011.
Still, given everything that has happened to me in these past 12 months, I can't help but recall some of the things I've learned.
1. I don't care about who gets the credit, but I do care when people take credit for something they didn't do.
I've heard time after time that "you can accomplish anything if you don't care who gets the credit." I believe that there's a lot of truth to that statement, and I try to accept it. When I'm in group situations and trying to solve a problem, I really don't care if I make the breakthrough and don't get recognition for it because as long as the solution is effective, I feel accomplished. BUT I've been in a few situations where I've worked my butt off to do something and someone else has gotten and accepted the credit. It REALLY bugged me. Sure people can tell me to be more gracious and less bothered by this, but I've decided I'm only human and I'm allowed to be peeved by people who get praised for cake that they didn't bake.
2. People who befriend you as a result of tragic situations can turn out to be friends for life.
Sometimes life is rough and throws some nasty things at you.The only thing that gets you through it is the people around you. I've been dealt some tough blows, but in 2010 I learned that despite that, people are still willing to be generous and kind despite all those scars. When people befriend you while you're at rock bottom, they know how to take care of you in bad times. And they're the ones you want by your side when it's time to celebrate the good times.
3. Sometimes taking the longer route isn't a bad idea. And sometimes the longer route is more scenic.
Once you hit a certain age (say 25), your peers start to place expectations on you: You should be married. You should know the direction that your career is going to take. Your bank account should be steady and stable. This year, I've learned that those expectations don't matter, and the notion that people who don't follow them are worthless is a lie. Sure it's important to have goals and to plan accordingly, but you don't have to take the shortest route between point A and point B. In fact, just like when you're taking a road trip, when you take the longer, more scenic route, you learn more and see a lot of beautiful things along the way.
4. People surprise you when allow them to show you who they are.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. I've learned that this isn't necessarily true. First impressions are important, but they don't have to be what defines a person. This year, I've learned that people aren't always who I expect them to be. Some have turned out better than I expected, and others have been worse than I originally thought. The point is that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.
5. I'm worth it.
Never again will I allow someone else to tell me that I'm not brilliant, talented, gorgeous or fabulous. Nor will I allow people to tell me that believing that I am all these things makes me unworthy of getting what I want or deserve.
I hope that I can put all these lessons into action in 2011.
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