Sweet Melissa*

Back in the '70s, Greg Allman wrote the most amazing name song ever, making Melissa's everywhere proud to bear the name...Actually, I've read somewhere that Greg Allman wrote the song about his guitar, indicating that no matter how many women he came across, he always went back to his music.

To be honest, I hadn't heard the song before AT&T used it in one of their commercials, and even then, I had to turn up the volume and think to myself, "Are they singing about Sweet Melissa?" As popular as the name Melissa is, people still find ways to get it wrong when they're talking to me. In fact, I just got called "Michelle" today at work. (No offense to the Beatles, but I think I have a better name song.)

I've heard tons of things about people living up to their names. I'm not sure if that's always true, but I like to think that sometimes I live up to mine, which is derived from the Greek word for "honeybee."

Despite being difficult and imperfect, I've considered myself to be a nice girl. I've built my life on helping other people, and I can honestly say that it makes me happy to put other people before myself. Yes, it's inconvenient at times, and yes it can take up a lot of energy, but I do it anyway. I've been asked on numerous occasions why I'm nice to people and why I like to maintain friendships even after I've been hurt. For a while, I couldn't give a good answer, but it came to me today.

The one phrase that kept on going through my head was "What if one of us dies tomorrow?" As morbid as that sounds, you never know what tomorrow holds, and if someone is worth enough to fight with or argue with, or get upset with, that person isn't someone you want to live without. And if something were to happen, wouldn't you want that person to know that he or she meant something to you? Anger is inevitable, but holding a grudge is optional. Life's too short to hold grudges and be mean all the time.

I've always wanted to be a person who looks for the good in others and believes in dreams that no one else can see but me. Sure, these things may seem completely  hopeless, but I search for them anyway because I believe they're out there. Besides, I wouldn't be me if I wasn't sweet. I wouldn't be me if I didn't believe in dreams.

A friend of mine recently wrote about unconditional love and questioned if it even existed. I was quick to say that of course it existed. Subsequent responses said that unconditional love is "messy, amazing, miraculous, but at the same time with all the potential to cause borderline trauma when it goes wrong. I think we all agree that unconditional love exists and as humans we seek, crave, give in, and at times probably resent it." It's all true. Love, in any of its forms, can be excruciating because it is the highest form of giving of oneself. When it doesn't work out, you can give up and say "What's the use?" I know it's a question that I have asked frequently and have come up with the same answer every time: Sure it's painful when it doesn't work out, but it feels amazing when it does.

And I have to ask myself over and over again, what good comes out of grudges and staying angry? After all the anger has been brushed away and in some cases, washed away by tears, it's so refreshing to just Measure in Love

*I really don't know why I titled this Sweet Melissa. It sounded like a good idea at the beginning. Now it just seems egotistical. Oops.

Just Throw it in the Bag

Pretty much every female I know carries a purse with her. I recently made fun of one of my male friends for carrying what I described a "man purse" and he insisted was a "travel carryall for his food." I've also had male friends ask me, "What is the deal with girls and bags? What do they have in there?" Many men say that purses are unnecessary and full of junk...but then they ask if they can stick their wallets and cell phones in there.

So, I've decided to empty out my purse and give you all a glimpse of what's inside.

 

1. Rosary-I always have a rosary in my purse, partially because it gives me comfort when I pray and partially because my mother would whoop me if she found out I didn't have one in there.
2. Eyeglass case-Because I can only work for so long before my eyes get sore and I need to put my glasses on

3. Fan-Yes, a fan. People make fun of this until we're outside or in an area with no air-conditioning. I whip this out and ask, "Who's laughing now?"

4. Business Cards and coupons-These are other people's business cards and coupons to Bath and Body Works. I keep these in an outer pocket so I can access them easily.
5. Speech-This is my speech from this past weekend. I don't think I really referred to it, which is why it's rolled up the way it is. I've noticed that I roll paper up a lot...I don't know why.
6. Letter-A letter from a friend that I always keep in my bag. Similar to the rosary, it gives me comfort knowing it's always with me.
7. Notebook-Because I never know when ideas for my great novel are going to come.
8. Sunglasses-Sometimes I like to put these on and pretend like I'm fly.
9. Keys-So I can get into places
10. Lotion-The soap in the  bathroom at work dries my skin out like mad. Since not washing my hands isn't an option, I always have lotion on hand. Gotta keep my hands nice and soft....and scented. :-)

11. Chapstick-'Cause everyone likes soft lips.

12. Business Cards-These are my business cards. I think I should start giving some out.
13. Coupons-These include coupons for milkshakes and slushies at the local burger joint.
14. Work Keys-Only I know what's in the secret closets.
15. Pens-I always like to keep two because I like symmetry...and because people borrow and then don't return them.
16. Wallet-I wouldn't be able to get anywhere without it...but I do think it's about time for a new one.
17. Jewelry-I have this because I always bring this bag with me when I travel. I stick some of my jewelry into this little pink bag and put it in my big bag to bring on the plane with me rather than putting it in my carry-on. Funny things can happen in those overhead bins.
18. iPod-My iTouch houses my to-do lists, shopping lists and important contacts. Plus, if I did'nt have this baby with me, there would be no chance of anyone ever walking into my office and catching me singing along to some Madonna.

Aisha

Every so often, the news media are the news makers. That's the case this week as Time Magazine has printed a controversial cover of an Afghan woman, Aisha. The photo depicts the 18-year old woman whose nose and ears were cut off by the Taliban for running away from abusive in-laws.

Time Magazine's editor, Richard Stengel addressed the decision to publish the photo in an interview with Katie Couric and in the issue itself. He says that he understands that some children may see the photo and be frightened and some adults will be disturbed by it, too. Others may think that using this photo as the cover will be nothing more than politicizing a serious issue and exploiting the innocent victims of war and oppression. But the point was to start a conversation on what the role of the United States and its allies should be. More importantly, should any type of deal be struck with the Taliban in reshaping the country's future?

While I completely support and am grateful for the brave men and women who protect the lives of civilians, war always puts a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not sure that armed conflict is the way to solve any crises. I favor diplomacy, and above all, I favor education.

I hear numbers tossed around all the time about how many children we could educate if we had spent money on books instead of guns. I think about how many lives could literally and figuratively have been saved by building schools instead of sending children to military camps. And I wonder what could happen to a generation of young girls if the boys they were growing up with were given a good education instead of feeling as if they have to join a dangerous regime in order to help their families get by. And what would happen if women were able to teach their young girls about self-confidence, worth and the importance of educating themselves.

I can't say that Aisha is anything less than an extraordinarily brave woman. She ran when she had to, and still she prevails to be the face for women who are calling out for something better than what they have, something that they deserve not just because they've been in a horrible situation but because they are women who deserve dignity and respect not only from the people who live in their country but from everyone who is willing to listen to their story.

I wish that I had more eloquent words for Aisha, but in this case, I think that a photo is indeed worth a thousand words.