Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Nails on a Chalkboard


Do you have any pet peeves? I sure do:

1.) "But um"-I hate it when people say "but um." I never noticed it before the How I Met Your Mother episode with the Robin Scherbatsky Drinking Game, but "but um" is one of the most annoying space occupiers in the entire English language. Actually, I wouldn't even call it English. That phrase had to have originated somewhere in Stupidville.

2.) Dislike!-I can't tell you how many people comment on Facebook with one word that I am banning from my vocabulary. Why do people comment on Facebook photos, statuses, links, etc with "dislike?" Facebook will never provide a "dislike" button. Get over it.

3.) Black pants, black shoes, white socks-You're not Michael Jackson. Put some black socks on.

4.) Import models-The only models I believe in are fashion models who wear birdcages in European fashion shows. Import models are one step away from being porn stars. They look like trash.

5.) Cracked spines, dogeared pages and torn covers on MY books-If you want to stay on my good side, do not mess with my books and do not mess with my bookcase. I have a shovel.

6.) Misuse and overuse of the words "irony," "whatnot," and "random" and the phrase "it is what it is"-Broaden your vocabulary. And if you don't know the meaning of a word, don't attempt to integrate it into your vernacular.

7.) Adults who talk like babies to...other adults-Don't talk to me like I'm six. And ladies don't talk to your boyfriend like he's six. Gentlemen, don't talk to your ladies like they're six.

8.) Pouty faces in pictures-Don't pout in pictures. You look like crap and it makes me want to give you something to pout about.

9.) People who think Sarah Palin is smarter than Barack Obama because she can shoot a gun and "speaks from her heart."-Please. Give me a break. According to her logic, I'm qualified to put out fires because I live across the street from the fire station.

10.) Designer Knockoffs-Did you know that poor little kids in third world countries make your fake Louis Vuittons? Fake fashion is never in style.

That is all.

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